


Surrounded by The Moon and Stars

by gotkindabored



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Crushes, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Harry Potter - Freeform, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, James Potter - Freeform, Love Triangles, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prejudice Against Muggle-borns, Reader-Insert, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Smut, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Unrequited Love, remus lupin - Freeform, sirius black - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29004471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotkindabored/pseuds/gotkindabored
Summary: The year is 1975 and Y/N L/N is a transfer student from Ilvermorny. And it was an understatement that she was out of her element. But what happens when you add friendship, love, drama and war together? Only time will tell and we all know that time waits for no one.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	1. And so it Begins

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: All original Harry Potter characters are owned and written by J.K. Rowling. I do not own any Harry Potter characters or the story.
> 
> SECOND DISCLAIMER: This story will contain MATURE content. It will include themes such as smut, mental health struggles, emotional discomfort and much more (see content). If you are not 17+ and unable to handle such themes, I ask you respectfully to exit this story. It is not my intention to make readers uncomfortable or trigger them anyway. If you continue to read the story despite the multiple warnings, I am not responsible for any triggers that may pop up.

* * *

Scratching at her skin again before rubbing her hand up and down her arms, she shifted her weight on her foot for what seemed like the millionth time that day. It was September 1st, 1975, and Y/N waited anxiously on platform 9 3/4 to board the huge, fiery red train for the first time.

As a transfer student that attended Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in America, it was safe to say that she was out of her element.

Not only was she a foreigner with an accent that distinctly made her noticeable, Y/N felt very alone- sadden that she hadn't gotten a farewell too.

Beads of sweat were starting to collect on her forehead as she whipped her head side to side, soaking in the new faces. Students young and old were bidding their goodbyes with their families, some crying and some looking embarrassed by their parent's outlandish tears. Trying not to dwell, she took her wand and cast a levitation charm to lift her suitcases while picking up her owl's cage, clutching it nervously.

With large strides, she stepped into the train, looking through each cubicle with unfamiliar students. After some time, she had finally found an empty carriage and placed her suitcases and owl on the seats across from her. Taking a few breaths to calm herself, she closed her eyes to focus on the thumping of her heart.

As she felt her heart slow, she opened her eyes again, this time deciding to watch the hundreds of bodies on the platform through the window. As she watched, she thought back to her old life back.

For the majority of her childhood, Y/N's most memorable, happiest memories all contained magic in some way. From getting her acceptance letter to building magnificent friendships, she longed for the intimacy of Ilvermorny.

Rubbing her thighs, she snapped out of her trance before readjusting her gaze on the crowd until she spotted a group of boys her age. It wasn't hard to notice them, they stood out. One boy was of average size, leaning towards tall. He was slim and had shoulder-length black hair that curled gracefully towards his face. What was most striking about him was his blue eyes, not to mention his cool attire. An all-black outfit with a leather jacket that clung to his body.

The second boy that caught her attention was the tallest out of the group. His hair was much shorter than the first boy but was still fluffy and curled in various directions. It was light brown and seemed to be speckled with grey and white spots that resembled a newborn deer. He had defined cheekbones with a light blush coating them. How cute, she thought.

One glance at the third boy and Y/N already knew that he was the ringleader. His chest was puffed out and he wore a cocky, confidant smile. She took note of his messy-unkempt hair and the large circular spectacles that he seemed to be touching often.

She almost didn't notice the last boy. He was short, much shorter than the rest of the boys. His hair looked dirty and messier than the boy with the glasses. It was also incredibly light, almost colourless that accentuated his bald spot at the back of his head. He had a plumper frame and his facial features resembled close to a rat.

Her attention was dragged away from him and back to the boy with the leather jacket. He was nudging his friend with the glasses while pointing at a girl with red hair. Picking up his luggage, the boastful boy picked up his suitcases while running towards the girl, his friend following in suit. Glancing back, the tallest boy arched his brow before gesturing to the other to follow. Walking away, they soon disappeared further up and blended with the rest of the passengers.

Sighting, Y/N leaned back into green cushioned seats. She hoped she could be a part of a friend group like them. Trying to distract herself from the isolation again, she pulled out her cassette player and tapes before selecting a song. Opening the tape door, she turned the sprockets until the magnetic tape was inside the taut before placing the tape inside the slot and gently closed the door. She then put her earbuds in and played the song before looking out the window as the train started to get ready to leave the station.

Minutes later, all the students had boarded the train, their heads popped out of windows as many cried waving to their parents. With a slight jerk, the train roared to life as the wheels turned and left the station.

With one last glance, she shut her eyes and lost herself to the music.

* * *

After a couple of hours, Y/N was in a deep sleep before the door of her compartment slammed open, jolting her awake. The door closed once again, the bright red-head girl from earlier now stood in front of her. Eyes clenched and heavy breathes leaving her mouth.

Deciding to break the silence, Y/N spoke.

"...Hello?"

A small squeak came from the other girl's mouth, eyes flying open as she stared, mouth open at Y/N.

"I'm so sorry!" she chuckled awkwardly. She had a soft British accent. "I didn't check the carriage before coming in. I thought it was empty. Again, sorry to bother you, I'll leave now."

This was her chance to make friends, she thought. Plucking up the courage, she replied equally as awkward, "No, it's okay. Please, sit with me," as she patted down next to her.

Giddy, the girl smiled back warmly, her mood-brightening while she took a few steps before sitting cross-legged fully facing the girl.

As an ice breaker, Y/N handed the girl one of her earbuds to listen to music with. "It's The Beatles, do you want to listen with me?"

The girl's smile grew bigger at her words as she perked up, her arm raising as she pointed to her.

"So you're the new transfer student! From America, right?"

With a loud groan, she dropped her face into her hands, "Oh no, is that a thing? The whole school knows that a transfer student is here?"

"Yeah,'" she giggled, "But don't worry if anything this is brill! Hogwarts hasn't had a transfer student in decades. Plus, all the boys and girls tend to swoon over American accents. You'll be seen as cool."

The girl proceeds to take the earbud, plopping it into her ear as the music flowed through her ears.

"Thank you,” she quipped, “By the way, what’s your name? I’m Lily, Lily Evans." The red-head looked at her curiously, waiting for an answer.

"Y/N, Y/N L/N."

She shifted her body to look at Lily as a rush of self-consciousness spread through her. Lily was perhaps one of the most beautiful girls she had ever seen. She had hundreds of freckles adorning her face, a stark contrast to her pale skin. Lily had a light dust of pink scatter across the apples of her cheeks which matched nicely with her hair. But most strikingly, her piercing green eyes peered into her. They looked incredibly kind, a gentle forest.

Glancing back down at her lap, Y/N questioned, "So what made you decide to come in here?" She gestured to the room. "You seemed pretty upset."

For a moment she had worried she asked the wrong question as Lily's smile dropped and her features were replaced with annoyance. She folded her arms in a self-soothing manner before her foot bounced up and down.

Her brows furrowed as she grumbled out, "This absolute bloke, James, was chasing me around the train, declaring his 'love' for me." She air quoted aggressively, "—practically asking from my hand in marriage!"

"Sounds fairly annoying. He just doesn't stop?"

"No! It's been years!" She huffed, before sinking into the seats and relaxing. "I was trying to find a place to hide and that's when I found you."

"Well, I'm glad you did."

Lily's brows unfurled at that, a smile instantly replacing the annoyance before she held out a hand, as the other girl shook it, "I think we'll be great friends."

* * *

As the hours ticked by, the two girls engrossed themselves in conversations after conversations. And for the first time since she had moved to London, the uncomfortable twist in the pit of her stomach began to unravel.

As the girls chatted away, only stopping to switch cassette tapes and when an old woman tapped gently on their door, cracking it open slightly, asking, "Anything you want, dearies?" Gesturing to the trolley in front of her.

"Yes, of course!" Lily cheered, springing from her seat, "Y/N, this is one of the best parts of the train ride. You have to try the jelly slugs!"

Digging out a few Sickles and Knuts, Lily dragged the girl to the trolley and picked out a handful of sweets. As she handed the old witch her money, a bubble of shame rose and tightened in the girl's stomach once again.

"Lily, please let me pay—"

"No!" Lily declared, "It's your first train ride to Hogwarts. You need to live the experience, don't feel bad."

Easing her nerves, she smiled back at Lily, nodding her head before noticing a boy looking directly into her eyes.

He was thin, of average height, sallow skin and a large nose. He had shoulder-length black hair, but it was unlike the boy with the leather jacket from earlier. No, it was greasy and seemed to cling to his face, unmoving. He wore a black flowing robe which gave him the look of a half-decaying bat.

She was just about to ask what he wanted until he tapped Lily's arm softly. The girl felt a bit of bile rising to her throat, she wouldn't want this boy looking at her— yet alone to touch her.

Bewildered, Lily turned back and looked at the boy. A look of recognition graced her face before she wrapped her arms around him. "Sev! I'm glad to see you again!"

He returned the hug before pulling away, his cheeks now stained a light blotchy pink.

"Where have you've been? I've been looking for you the past couple of hours."

"My bad," Lily looked back at her newfound friend, "I bumped into Y/N, the new transfer student." Moving out of the way, Lily gestured to the girl and then back to the boy, "Y/N this is Severus. Severus, this is Y/N."

Severus' eyes were now focused on her. His eyes roaming her body, taking her in inch by inch. Disgusting- she thought.

"Hi," he drawled, disinterested. He refocused on the other girl and cleared his voice awkwardly, "Come to my carriage."

Lily's smile faltered a bit, "Can Y/N come then?"

A scowl appeared on his face, clearly disliking the idea. But before he had the chance to object, the bright hair girl grabbed his arm before pulling him inside the compartment. "Change of plans, there's no need to go all the way to yours if we can just sit here."

The large room suddenly felt cramped. Severus' presence brought the mood down significantly and made Y/N squirm in her seat. Lily on the other hand didn't seem to notice and chatted away happily.

It was even worse when he spoke.

"What is your blood status?"

Angrily, the redhead glared at the greasy boy.

"Does it matter, Sev?" Lily chastised him.

"I'm just curious is all."

So he wa

For a moment, Y/N was silent. Severus was a pureblood fascist? As the realization hit her, anger rushed through her veins. He must've supported Lord Voldemort. Then what would make Lily? Associating herself with boys of such. Opting to avoid confrontation, she simply responded with, "In America, blood status isn't important. If you have magic, you are simply a witch or a wizard."

His eyes continue to glare at the girl, a grunt is all he contributed as Lily lit up.

"Really? That's delightful! I wish that was the case here."

Lily's voice faded to the background as the girl continued to stare at Severus. He on the other hand gave her a dirty look, his eyebrows pulled tight down his face. He resembled a toddler about to start a tantrum. Smirking, she knew she had bothered him and decided to shrug him off.

He proceeds to stand up, seemingly unbelievably enraged by her dismissal. Spinning on his heels, he reaches for the door before bidding his goodbyes to Lily quickly, completely ignoring you.

What a fragile ego he must have to threaten that quickly by a girl that he hardly knows.

"Sorry," Lily replies, "He isn't very comfortable around new people."

Y/N's ears perked up then. Thousands of questions rush through her head, the most prominent one flashing in neon red lights: Why was she apologizing for such an arrogant boy like that.

"Lily, I don't know you that well but I believe I'm a fairly good judge of character." She sighs as she looks up at Lily gently smiling at her. "And I might be overstepping but why would you willingly befriend a boy that seems to care about a witch or wizard's blood status?"

Silence falls between the two girls, not uncomfortable per se, but a heavy tension laid thick on top like blankets.

"Hey, let's just try and talk about something else, shall we?"

As soon as she finished the sentence, the two felt the train come to a steady stop. The wispy white steam from the engines flowed through the crisp wind as students began to rise from their seats, stretching and opening their compartment doors and heading onto the platform.

Lily stood up eagerly, looking at the girl with the brightest smile she had seen on her thus far.

"Welcome to Hogwarts."


	2. New Faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors!

* * *

The sound of wind whipping against her skin made her flinch as she stepped out of the train. The chill evening had managed to seep into her bones, amplifying the small burst of nervousness that crawled up her. Even with Lily's kind reassurance that she would be fine did little to ease the chill. Surely, there was nothing to worry about, it was just an old school. She had gone to one just like Hogwarts after all. Yet, the thought made her stomach clench painfully.

As the girls made their way down a dwindling path, darkness swallowing them whole as sparse lamps illuminated their way, they spotted carriages being pulled by an invisible force, students sat on top. Y/N was about to ask if Lily wanted to ride the next carriage until she rapidly waved her arms at a group of girls in the distance. "HEY!"

The group whipped their heads towards the sound before a blonde girl came barreling towards Lily, the rest following in suit.

"I missed you!" the girl yelled as she wrapped her arms around her.

"Marlene!"

Marlene swiftly pulled back before laughing, "I'm sorry! I just miss you is all- hardly wrote to me this summer or gave me a ring!"

Sheepishly smiling, embarrassment taking over her features, Lily mumbled out an apology; something about being caught up with her family. It was until the rest of the girls had reached them and greeted the redhead with a series of "I missed you!" until the conversation swerved to Y/N. Lily introduced each girl to her, similar to how she did with Severus earlier on the train ride.

Alice, Mary, Marlene and Dorcas invited her and Lily to join them on the carriage ride back to Hogwarts, the girls squishing together to make room for everyone before the carriage started to pull itself again.

* * *

Once they finally arrived, Y/N had changed into her uniform, feeling a little better now since she blended in with everyone else.

She waited outside until the large wooden and steel doors swung open, revealing an older witch. She had a thin face, a stern exterior, and her long robes were a dark emerald green colour that complimented her cool skin.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, I am Professor McGonagall."

She pulled the doors wide open again before gesturing to the students to follow. The hall seemed like a never-ending maze. It was twice the size compared to the hallways at Ilvermorny. The quartzite stone was lined with lit flaming torches, high ceilings and a large marble staircase facing large doors to an entrance. As they followed Professor McGonagall towards the main hall, Y/N heard faint conversations growing in volume as they approached closer. Suddenly coming to a stop right outside the doors, she peeked her head in nervously, just enough that the top of her head was barely noticeable.

"This is the Great Hall," said Professor McGonagall, "Before you take your seats, you all will be sorted into your Houses. Every year the Sorting hat is placed on every new students’ head which determines who your family is within Hogwarts, who you share your classes with, where you sleep, and your common room."

"There are four houses, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each House has its own extensive history and has produced several renowned wizards and witches. There is no such thing as a bad House. While you attend Hogwarts, you can earn your House points, but rule-breaking and poor behaviour will result in losing points. At the end of the year, the points will be counted and whichever House has the most points is awarded a Cup." 

Professor McGonagall pauses for a moment letting the information sink it. "The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a moment. I want you all to form a single line and wait here until I return."

As she disappeared into the Great Hall, Y/N gulped. Her heart started pounding into her chest as she felt her palms grow sweaty. She looked back at the rest of the students, some looking as anxious as her. It did not help to see that others were as terrified too. She had to calm down, she was older than these first-years and she was particularly about to crumble. Besides, she had gone through a similar process too. With a few deep breaths, she collected herself as her eyes fixated on the door, waiting for Professor McGonagall to come back.

Minutes later, Professor McGonagall returned before looking directly at Y/N. "Miss Y/L/N."

_Oh no, what had she done now?_

"Please come to the front of the line."

_Oh goody, she had to be first._

Placed right, front and centred, she, along with the other students, walked through the double doors and into the Great Hall. There were long tables and four large banners of snakes, lions, ravens and badgers floating above. The ceiling resembled the night sky, little stars were scattered around as thousands of lit candles floated mid air. Looking directly in front of her, another long table sat in front of the hall where teachers were seated.

As Professor McGonagall led the students up by the teacher's tables, slowly bringing them to a halt before she placed a stool in front of them, holding the sorting hat. Soon, the hat was brought to life as the brim opened wide and began to sing.

Out of her peripheral vision, she could see hundreds of faces looking directly at her along with a few misty silver strands whipping around. Ghost.

Students burst into tumultuous applause as the song was brought to a close. The four tables became quiet again once Professor McGonagall stepped forward holding a large scroll of parchment.

"Once I call your name, please step forward. I will place the hat on your head while you sit on the stool."

"Y/N Y/L/N!"

It felt as if her legs turned into the jelly slug she ate earlier with Lily. As she stepped forward, a low murmur spread throughout as benches scraped, heads craning to get a good look.

"Who's that?"

"She doesn't look like a first year."

"No, are you draft? That's the new student."

Smiling nervously at the teacher, Y/N turned around and sat on the stool as Professor McGonagall gently lowered the hat onto her head, the rim covering the majority of her vision. Out of the corner, she spotted Lily watching intently.

"Hmmm," a quiet voice spoke into her ear as it continued to ramble on. It was the hat. "Placed in Thunderbird? Difficult, yes— difficult. You seek spirituality, an adventurer at heart. My goodness- oh!" Then the hat stilled, taking a pause to ponder. As she waited, she scanned the room, everyone’s eyes were still on her, most were watching intently while others had their brows furrowed, questions etched into them.

"Why is it taking so long?"

Her attention was pulled away as the voice echoed back into her head, "You have great potential. Yes, great potential." She tried hard not to cringe at the remarks. "You'll do great things in Ravenclaw, you'll find your kind. Surrounded by wisdom and creative individuals alike."

Thinking back to her conversation earlier with Mary, she recalled that Ravenclaw held some of the brightest, smartest students. Not a bad house to be placed in.

"But perhaps," the hat admitted, "You could push your limits in Gryffindor. Where you'll be brave and listen to the soul. Your nerve and chivalry will be recognized, setting you apart... yes... you belong in... GRYFFINDOR!" 

A flurry of students with red and gold ties shot up, greeting her to booming applause as they clapped and yelled. McGonagall lifted the hat from her head as Y/N strode towards the Gryffindor table where Lily was waving her arms rapidly, flagging her down to sit in an empty seat beside her. She shot a smile back at her before Lily spoke.

"Congratulations!" she cheered, "You got into the greatest house if I say so myself."

"Because it IS the best house," Marlene preached. She looks at the girl before shaking her hand, "Congratulations by the way. It'll be nice to see you around."

"It did take a while," joined Alice, "Was the sorting hat deciding to put you in another house?"

"Yeah," she replied, "Ravenclaw."

"Well I'm glad the final decision was Gryffindor," Lily said, smiling brighter. She seemed to be happier about the decision rather than Y/N herself.

* * *

As the last round of students was finally sorted, Albus Dumbledore, you found out his name from Lily, rose to his feet, his smile beaming from ear to ear as his eyes twinkled.

"Welcome or welcome back!" he said. "We greet this new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our feast, I would like to say a few words. First years, please note that the forbidden forest is restricted to all students. Now, enjoy!"

He sat back down as everyone in the hall cheered as dishes upon dishes appeared in front of them.

* * *

During dinner, Lily and Y/N continue to talk, bellies finally full after waiting hours to eat.

"Yeah! I'm so excited! I became a prefect this year!" Lily said excitedly, pointing to the silver badge on her uniform.

"That's amazing—"

"What about me, Evans? I became Gryffindor's Quidditch captain this year. Aren't you proud?" 

Without a single glance, Lily dropped her head into her hands as a loud groan came from her mouth. Mumbling, she spits out, "What is it now, Potter?"

The boy strode over and sat next to Lily, his leg brushing fleetingly against hers before she ripped her leg away. She opened one eye and peeked sideways at him. His head was slightly tilted and his smile grew by the second.

Y/N looked at him, recognizing that he was the boy from Platform 9 3/4. Up close, she studied him, his glasses sat high on his nose, one side higher than the other. His messy hair suited him.

“What about my glasses? Pretty dashing if I say so myself?”

"Why are you still here?" she blurted out.

"You're not happy to see me?" His voice was unbothered by her remark. "I just came over to ask you a question."

"No—"

"But my Lily-pad!"

Lily sat up again, this time tilting her head to look at the bespectacled boy in the eyes, her bright green orbs boring into his hazel pools. "You're barking mad? Do you know that? Do I have to hex you for you to understand?"

As he was about to open his mouth again, Y/N had made the mistake of making eye contact before a gleam of mischief itched in his face. He shoots a hand through his hair, nodding at her, smiling. "You look radiant, don't you? What's your name?" He flashes his teeth at her.

_What the fuc—_

His eyes are glittering with a devilishly tint, "Aw, cat got your tongue?"

"Leave her alone, you creep!" Lily's voice pierces through.

The boy moved his eyes to look at Lily. But before he could say something, Y/N's mouth had not caught up with her head before she teased, "It's ok, Lily. I'm not going to steal him away from you."

Lily became slack-jawed, staring wide-eyed at Y/N. She noted her slumped shoulders and pink cheeks before the group of girls and 'Potter' erupted into a hysterically laughing fit.

The raven-haired boy was the first to speak once the laughter had died down. Wiping tears from his eyes, he stuck out a hand, "I like you already, I'm James."

She took James' hand, shaking it amusingly before she mocked back, "Likewise. I'm Y/N."

James stood up, winking at Lily who was still in shock, before walking a few seats over where the rest of the marauders were seated.

"Ohhhh, she so wants me," he says proudly.

"Tough luck, James," Peter says, sympathy dripping in his voice.

Remus finally lifts his head from the table- unable to watch the scene that played out. "Honestly mate, if I was Lily I would have beaten the shit out of you by now," Remus says with a huff, a light blush coating his cheeks from the second-hand embarrassment.

"And whatever do you mean, Moony? You should've seen the way she looked me up and down. She was eye-fucking me."

"You delusional little git— had her wand practically between your eyes."

Sirius barks out with laughter as he patted James' back, signalling him to sit down. "Of course she does, Prancer. Next time, you just gotta do something big. Something that'll really impress her."

"Don't encourage him!" Remus chuckled, "You're going to make it worse."

"Oh piss off, you're simply just jealous."

"Me? Jealous. I think differently. I don't have a girl constantly rejecting me."

James playfully rolled his eyes before turning to the two girls again. Studying them both. He was quiet for a bit until he said, "The newbie's got a sharp tongue."

That made the boys shut up as they followed James' gaze which was directed at Y/N.

"Yeah, saw you talking to her, what'd she say?" Peter said, mouth full of food.

"Something about Evans."

A dramatic gasp came from Sirius, "Got eyes for someone other than Lily?"

James ignored him as he turned his head to look at Lily again. He almost became comical, his doe eyes ready to pop out of his head with animated hearts surrounding him. "Nuuu-Uhh," he drawled as he shook his pointer finger, "Nothing can compare to my Lily flower."

Sirius interjects quickly, "New one is a fit bird, sight for sore eyes. Where is she from?"

“Pretty sure it was an American accent.”

"She is pretty," Peter says, "But I thought you were seeing Marlene?"

"Ended it again." Sirius says, "This time I think for good. It was about time anyway. It's been on and off for years." Sirius pauses for a moment before saying, "I swear, Americans are a different breed. Just look at her." He quickly scans the girl, giving her a once over before running his hands through his hair. As he finishes, Sirius whistles, loudly.

As Y/N turns to find the source of the noise, she looks directly into the eyes of the boy she saw earlier. Up close, he is much more handsome. His chest was broad and she could see slight shadows formed on his shirt. Not from wrinkles but muscles hiding beneath his shirt.

But, as attractive as he was, and god, she swore he looked like a God among men, she didn't like to be whistled at. She quickly looked away and refocused on Lily, a knowing grin settled on her face, while Sirius looked back at his friends.

"You've caught Sirius' attention."

"There are nicer ways for someone to get a girl's attention."

"You're not wrong," she sighed, "He is a bit of a dog. Harmless, but a dog nonetheless- but all boys are like that."

A knowing smile graced Y/N lips as Dorcas spoke, "Everyone expects for James. Seems to only have eyes for you."

The group of girls, save for Lily who's face matched the colour of her hair, once again burst into a fit of laughter.

"We have two comedians now, har-har," she jeered, "Hasn't been a day and you lot are already making fun of me."

Pouting a bit, thinking they stepped a bit fair, Y/N and Dorcas were about to apologize before a small grin made its way onto their friend's face.

* * *

Dinner came to a close as Y/N stood with the rest of the Gryffindor first years waiting to be shown their dormitories. She had hoped Lily was going to tour her around before she was dragged away to do other prefect duties.

Tired and full of food, she stood there dazed as she marvelled at the floating candles before a soft, deep voice spoke. "Hello, my name is Remus, I'm Gryffindor's 5th-year prefect. I'll be leading you to your rooms. Please stick close to me, we don't want you getting lost."

She had to take a double-take, eyes widening slightly.

_'Those four boys were all throughout the school.'_

Remus had briefly made eye contact before looking away quickly, a ghost of a smile on his face.

Now wide awake, they followed Remus through the crowds and led them through a series of hidden doorways covered with long, hanging tapestries. Throughout the walk, Y/N found herself taking several glances at the tall boy. She had been so distracted that she failed to notice that the group had reached the end of a corridor. In front hung a magnificent portrait of a curvy woman in a pink dress.

"Password?" the woman said.

"Deosil."

The portrait swung open and revealed a round hole in the wall, students entering before finding themselves in the Gryffindor common room. She took a moment to gaze around as Remus directed the boys and girls to their respective dormitory. The room was circular, decorated in shades of red and gold, filled with squashy armchairs and pillows, wooden tables, numerous portraits and a grand cozy fireplace sat directly at the forefront of the room.

The last of the students were making their way up the stairs when Y/N finally turned around, Remus’ back facing her. Something about him intrigued her, perhaps it was him or the rest of his friend group that drew her attention to him, she didn’t know.

Feeling eyes on his back, Remus turned his head to look at her carefully, their eyes meeting.

_Shit- got caught looking._

"Hiya."

"Hi."

"Sorry, I should introduce myself, I'm Y/N."

A real smile appeared on his face this time, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yeah, words been wild around the school."

Her heart sped up as heat travelled from her chest to neck and then face. Of course, how did she forget? For some inexplicable reason, everyone knew who she was. It was as if she held a sign that yelled, "I'M NOT FROM HERE!"

He continued, "Saw you chatting with my chap earlier, James. Hope he didn't give you a hard time."

"Oh, not at all!" shaking her head, "He was very nice."

Remus was about to open his mouth before a series of footsteps came down before Lily came down the spiral staircase where the rest of the female students went up in. "I've been looking for you! We're in the same room- I thought you might've gotten lost."

She waved her hands to calm down Lily's frazzled state before walking towards her. "Was just talking to Remus," she looked back at the boy, he nodded.

Lily turned to look at the boy before teasing, "Hello Remus. I didn’t see you on the train! Good summer I hope?” 

“Mmhm,” he murmured, “James got to you first before I could say anything.” 

“Blimey! You grew, again!” 

"And you're still as short as ever."

"5'6 is not short!"

“Goblin.”

“Ostrich.”

Remus mutters a few unintelligible words under his breath to Lily. A beat passes before the two break out laughing.

"Right, well we ought to go to sleep now. You don't want to be knackered on your first real day tomorrow." Lily said, looking back at her.

She didn't quite understand what all these new words meant. "Ugh, yeah, I s'pose."

The two girls climbed up the stairs before Y/N turned back to Remus, bidding him goodnight.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

She felt his eyes linger on her back as she turned back to climb the stairs. Once arriving at her shared dorm, Y/N, weariness written in every line of her body, changed into her pyjamas before dragging herself into bed, falling asleep almost at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter mentioned the whole 'I'm not from here' thing multiple times. I just wanted to establish how the reader feels isolated. It won't be a big thing later, don't worry!
> 
> Since updates are predicted to be slow, if you ever want to check on the status of when an update is coming soon, check out my Tumblr: @gotkindabored


	3. Enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a filler chapter but is needed to establish characters, relationships, etc.
> 
> Plus, the word 'New-Maj' is a play on words for 'No-Maj'- I had to create a word the was the equivalent to Muggle-born.

* * *

By the end of her first month at Hogwarts, Y/N made a short mental list in her head. 

**1.** Lily Evans has the answers for everything, and she was almost always right. 

Whether it be the correct answers on homework to breaking up petty fights in hallways, she always knew how and what to do. It was brilliant, truly, yet it made her slightly terrified of the crimson hair witch. 

Lily had only been wrong two times. 

**2.** She considered Lily and James her (closest) friends

In all honesty, she had been amazed when she bonded with the two so quickly, James in particular. 

First off, there was nothing to dislike about Lily. The girl was witty, charming, smart and strong-minded. The two had so much in common that Y/N thought she found her other half. They both came from New-Maj families (or muggle-born as they're called here) which made it easier to understand pop-culture references that other witches and wizards couldn't. It felt like a secret club. Not to mention, they shared the same core values, the same interests and passions. 

Secondly, a trait that Y/N admired about Lily was that she could find the beauty in things others couldn't. She was incredibly kind and giving which gave her this aura of inexplicable beauty that Y/N had never seen in anyone else before. She understood why James, teachers and half the school fawned over her. 

However, on the other hand, Y/N had found herself becoming friends with James Potter, quickly. 

After she was introduced to him on the night of the Sorting Ceremony, the two never made a real effort to talk to each other since. That was until their shared class of History of Magic, which was the only class taught by a ghost. Easily, it was the most dreadful class Hogwarts had to offer as students had to fight the urge to nod off as Professor Binns floated in between the aisles droning on and on while the class scribbled down notes. 

Due to this, James and Sirius would often pull small pranks on various students or even Professor Binns to entertain themselves. Although Binns had enough of the disruption and separated the two boys within the first week of lessons. He had replaced Marlene, who was seated next to Y/N, with James, and Marlene was placed in James' old spot. 

At (poor) Marlene's expense who was forced to sit next to her ex-boyfriend, Y/N and James were having the time of their lives. The two shared similar humour and their rapid-fire responses to each other were beyond entertaining. The boy, although egotistical and childish, only meant well. Underneath his jock-like persona, Y/N had also picked up that James was incredibly smart. He was like a brother to her. 

James and Lily made her feel welcomed at Hogwarts and eased the pain of missing her old friends and life.

The first time Lily had ever been wrong was her opinions on James. 

**3\. *REVIEW SECTION 1*** Sirius Black was a complete and utter dog.

 **3.5.** Sirius Black was also a special kind of asshole. 

There was an arrogance to Sirius that aggravated Y/N because Sirius wasn't your typical irritating asshole. He never made fun of anyone's appearance (besides Snape), nor did he single out New-Majs, or prank those without reason. That was not the case. 

The boy kept flirting with her. Initially, this wasn't an issue, if anything it was playful banter and was entertaining. She was flattered at the beginning. 

But what was the problem was that she caught Sirius making out- or snogging, four other girls within a month's span, and that was what she only saw accidentally. While yes, Sirius was a free man and could do as he pleased, he was also toying with multiple hearts of women. And quite frankly, while Y/N had no feelings for the boy, she was upset. 

Sirius somehow managed to always find her no matter how well she hid herself. He would flirt with her in the Great Hall, the common room, at lunch, dinner, breakfast, the libraries and even during class. And it only worsened once her friendship with James grew. He tried to be a 'wing-man' of sorts. 

Plus Y/N had originally pushed her opinions of the boy aside due to his friendship with Lily. Which to put it lightly, only confused her. James was much more likeable than Sirius. Yes, his behaviour could be a bit much, especially with the absurd amount of cheesy pick-up lines, but he knew when to stop. 

At this point, it was fairly evident that Sirius Black was playing her and leading her on along with other girls, but he was also, 

**a)** loud

 **b)** obnoxious, 

**c)** never seemed to care about anyone's emotions but his, 

**d)** or rules, 

**e)** and believed that everyone was at his disposal. 

Despite all, she put up with him for both James and Lily, although her patience was running thin. Unfortunately, she had transfigurations next and Sirius Black was seated next to her, where Lily usually sat. 

Y/N had overslept and missed most of breakfast. Lily hadn't woken her up, busy planning out her prefect duties with Remus. She hardly slept the last couple of nights and resulted in drinking two cups of sugary coffee before classes started. It didn't help that she was under the strict eye of Professor McGonagall who had been assigning piles of homework to assess her abilities. If only Sirius hadn't spoken, her day would have been ten folds better. 

"Why don't you try smiling, sweetheart?"

In a split second, she took back her earlier statement, _maybe Sirius was your typical grade-A asshole. Who does he think he is?_

Her patience finally ran out, he deserved to be knocked down a step. "Why don't _you_ try smiling for me?" 

His smile flattered for a second before an annoying smirk donned his face, "Hard day?" As Sirius waited for a response, he hovered his hand over Y/N's which was resting on the table. Only the tips of their fingers touched before she ripped her hand away. 

Irritated, she scoffed, "Look, Sirius, I'm flattered but you have to leave me alone. Don't touch me, don't flirt with me anymore." 

Taken back by her tone, his brows furrowed as he stared back. "I," he paused, "I didn't mean it like that." 

"Well next time, how about you ask? I'm not some doll." Her voice bit back, "Leave me alone." 

He began to open his mouth before she waved her hand, signalling him to close his mouth. A beat passed before a wave of visible frustration and confusion crossed his face as he stared back at Y/N. His slitted pupils narrowed before he stood up, muttering something close to a sorry as he walked past Lily and over to James who had been engaged in a conversation with Remus. 

_Boys._

Lily walked over to her, finally taking a seat she turned towards Y/N. "Hey, what'd you say to Sirius? He looked a bit thrown off."

"Nothing." 

Lily arched her eyebrow, clearly not believing the girl but dropped it once Professor McGonagall stepped into the class. She turned to her parchment, dunking her quill in ink as she began to scratch down the instructions spurting from McGonagall's mouth. She shifted restlessly, letting her eyes wander around the room, drifting lazily over students but not settling on anything in particular as she allowed her mind to take a moment to itself. Aside from Sirius, Y/N had enjoyed her short time at Hogwarts. 

**4.** One class she often looked forward to was Defence Against the Dark Arts. But, Professor Keys was a bit eccentric, to say the least. He often made the class feel like a comedy course. 

Keys was paranoid, often going into fits of nonsense but returned to teaching as if nothing had happened. Or whip his head around constantly, spouting that he had heard a dead colleague say his name. Lily had mentioned to her that there was a curse on the job position and no professor had been able to keep the job for longer than a year before all dying of fatal accidents. 

If she were Professor Keys, she would be paranoid too. 

**5.** The girl had no real opinions on Charms, but she did like Professor Flitwick. He was a tiny wizard who stood on stacks of books just to be seen in class. The same could go for Arithmancy, the classes were useful but forgettable. 

**6.** But she did enjoy Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology. 

**7.** On the downside, a class Y/N had thoroughly enjoyed before attending Hogwarts was Potions, yet that drastically changed. She didn't like Professor Slughorn much. He tended to boast about famous witches and wizards he knew and favourited students too much, Lily and unfortunately Y/N too.

However, Slughorn was not the problem, nor was the huge amount of reading and writing but sharing the class with the Slytherin fifth years was, especially Severus Snape. 

From the start, she already had the idea that she disliked Severus. His remark about her blood-status threw her off. But she shouldn't be shocked, the first wizarding war has been going on since 1970. Despite knowing, she willingly stepped into the heart of it. Blood purists have been targeting New-Maj and No-Maj families lately. Looking back at it, for her safety, she should have stayed in America. 

By the end of the first Potions lesson, she knew for sure she didn't like him, she hated him. He was creepy, barely spoke louder than a whisper, disliked her because of her blood-status, and seemed jealous he had to _share_ Lily's attention. 

* * *

Slughorn had just finished going over today's lesson. They were supposed to create a potion in groups of two or three for their first assignment. Originally, Y/N had hoped to be partners with James. He secretly had a penchant for Potions. Sadly, Sirius jumped on him the moment Slughorn announced they had the liberty of choosing their partners. 

She then thought about asking Remus. She had no real opinions on him. He was quiet and seemed nice but she didn't know the other boy in his group, Peter. Besides, it might've been uncomfortable, the two have only spoken a few times since the sorting. 

By then, Y/N had waited too long and the only other group that had space left was Lily and Snape. Snape had got to her first before Y/N had a chance to ask. Taking a deep breath, she trouted over to Lily, tapping her lightly on her shoulder. 

"Hey, Lils, mind if I join you?" 

"Of course, you don't have to ask!" 

She avoided looking at Severus directly, her body rigid as he gave a disappointed grunt. 

"I'll get the ingredients, I trust the both of you to start?" Without a second thought, the redhead shifts her feet towards the direction of the shelves. 

"Bugger off," he seethes once Lily is out of earshot. The greasy boy glared at her, his black eyes seeping with hatred. "You'll probably fuck it up, anyway." 

Y/N responds with a cold, derisive scoff, "For Lily's sake, let's pretend to at least be civil, hmm?" 

Snape opens his mouth to argue as Y/N wordlessly heats the cauldron and flicks her book open. 

"You're doing it wrong." 

"God, if you're so keen why don't you do it yourself?" She spat back. She knew what she was getting herself into. Y/N actively tried to de-escalate the tension by bringing up Lily's happiness thinking Snape would compromise for her. The last thing she wanted was to pick a fight in front of a professor and students who were ready to gossip at any given time. Especially not in front of Slytherin students. 

She regretted not joining James and Sirius. Sirius was a saint compared to Snape. 

Y/N was snapped out of her daze when she felt James swing his arm around her shoulders. 

"Snivellus," he greets Snape before looking at her, "Tormenting you, isn't he." 

"Eugh." 

At this James chuckles and he lowers his head to whisper in your ear, "Why didn't you join me? You can't be telling me you'd rather be with this freaky bloke." 

Thoughts of Sirius flashed through her head repeatedly. She was surprised he didn't tell James about their little spat earlier.

"Thought your group was full," she settled on.

"Pathetic pitiful Potter-"

"Looky here! Snivy is a little poet," James cuts off, "I wasn't talking to you." 

Snape rolled his eyes, "You must be getting low marks if you're coming over here to sneak a look. Fallen off of your broom one too many times from Quidditch?"

"Stupid git, at least I have a life outside of Potions."

As much as she hated Severus, the two boys were acting like first years. Luckily Professor Slughorn cuts in, bending over to look at their cauldron, "You two haven't started yet!" He looks over at James, "And you, back to your station, Mr. Potter." 

"Better listen to him." Snape's lips curled. 

Swerving the conversation, she spoke, "Sorry, Professor, just waiting for the ingredients." With a curt nod, Slughorn smiles before leaving the table.

James did not budge, opting to stare at Severus before Lily came back and sat down all the ingredients on their table. She took a swift glance at the boy, "Potter, go back to your table." 

His attention shifted, eyes softening as James peered down at Lily. A sly smile appeared on his face before he joined Sirius again. Sighing, she spoke, "Sorry I took so long, I..." 

Her words trailed as Y/N ripped her gaze from Snape. 

"Let's get this over with, shall we?" 

She continued to stir as Lily added ingredients after ingredients. Her responses for the rest of the class consisted of silent nods, small answers or grunting in response. Severus on the other hand was slumped in the stool next to Lily, his face pulled into a twisted sour scowl as he stared at the cauldron through curtains of greasy black hair. 

_What a shitty day._

* * *

Y/N was rushing down the marble staircase. 

The girl had been in the library engrossed in review notes. Normally, Sirius had severed as an alarm of what time it was, but he hadn't appeared this time. Although she was happy the boy was taking her wishes seriously, she lost track of time and was late for dinner. It was one thing to miss breakfast but another to miss dinner. 

Finally entering the hall, she placed down her items beside Dorcas as she faced Lily, opposite to her. Hungry, she grabbed the plate in front of her and scooped up some vegetables. 

"Where have you've been?" Mary asked, "We tried looking for you. Almost missed the apple soup." 

"Mmm?" She hummed. She stuck out a finger and waved it gently before gulping down, "Library. Wanted a head start for OWLs."

"Oh! How's it going? I've been pushing them off- planning to start a few weeks before winter break." 

"Hard. I can't seem to retain the information." 

This caught Lily's attention, "Why don't you join my study group? It's fifth years and up. Might help a bit." 

"Really? Thanks, I'll drop by another time. Just tell me when they start." 

Lily beams dazzlingly.

* * *

Dinner was coming to a close as desert lined student's plates. Strangely, a large grey owl swooped in and dropped off a letter and a dozen red roses in front of Lily. 

"Godric is that a howler?! And roses?" 

Good lord, she mumbled under her breath, that was a Potter family owl. 

Y/N turned to glance at James, who smiled brightly back, giving her a thumbs-up before turning his head.

The howler broke open, a familiar voice boomed throughout the hall along with soothing music. 

**"LILY! OHH~ MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER, MY-"**

"Incendio." 

Everyone, even teachers, looked towards the Gryffindor table and yelped as the howler burst into large flames in front of Lily. Silence followed as she lowered her wand, shifting to look at James, her face in total disbelief as his warped voice played in the background. 

"Oi, Evans! Why did you do that!?" 

As the two fought, Y/N couldn't help but bury her head in her hands to hide her laughs. 

_Maybe the day wasn't so shitty after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have chance to proof read this properly. Sorry.  
> Visit my Tumblr account - https://gotkindabored.tumblr.com - if u want updates on the next chapter


	4. Pranks, Parties and Peers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day! 
> 
> Possible errors in this chapter!

* * *

As October rolled around, so did the chill autumn breeze. It was Sunday and Y/N had spent most of her weekend finally exploring Hogwarts grounds.

As she waited for Dorcas to finish lunch, she sat on top of a flat rock near the edge of a large clearing of tall trees that were slowly turning from green to golden brown, yellow and red. From this point, you can see a long cobblestone trail that leads to a small village separating the Forbidden Forest from the alluvial woods of Hogsmeade. The village stretched out for miles while Y/N was still about to see across the mountains and even rivers. Despite the cold chill, the sky had been clear of any clouds as the sun beamed down. Listening to the distant chirps of birds, Y/N thought this was the perfect way to end the weekend from a ridiculously stressful week.

The two girls meant to visit a few shops in Hogsmeade before she met with Lily in the library for her study group. Meetings were typically held on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Sundays were reserved for OWL or NEWT study sessions only.

Tilting her head back towards the entrance of Hogwarts, she finally spotted her friend walking up to her. Today, she noted that Dorcas looked especially pretty. Her dark skin mixed elegantly with the warm hues of the sun and her hair bounced with every step.

She had always liked Dorcas, she even had developed a soft spot for the girl in the short period they had known each other. She was quiet and shy, yet somehow always drew the best kind of attention to her.

“Hi!”

“Took you long enough,” Y/N teased.

“Oh, hush. You would’ve too if you got a slice of warm toast and soup.” Dorcas grinned back as the two began to chat. Down the village, the two trudged down inside the Three Broomsticks first. It was quite busy, faint music played in the background while conversations filled the room. To the girl’s surprise, James, Sirius and Peter were there, seated in a booth.

But she caught something in the corner of her eye. Sat in the far back alone, opposite to the marauders, was Snape. His attention was drawn towards the boys. His eyebrows were pulled together as his jaw clenched and then slacked every so often. The Slytherin must have felt her eyes on him as he turned to glare at her. A look of surprise shot through his face momentarily before a shallow, dark grimace returned. Neither was sure how long they stared at each other until Dorcas spoke again, bringing her attention back.

“Where’d you want to sit?”

Before she could respond, James had called out to them. “Hey! C’mon over here and join us!”

Y/N looked over to Dorcas, the two non-verbally shared a look. Dorcas had raised her eyebrows and tilted her head ever so slightly before walking towards the group of boys. Smiling politely, she pulled out a chair as James motioned to a nearby barmaid for another round of butterbeer. Dorcas was on her right, already engaged in a quiet conversation with Peter while James nudges Y/N, “Good afternoon.”

“Noon.”

“Didn’t bring Evan with you?”

She gasped dramatically, “And I thought you were happy to see me!”

He pouted playfully, “I’m joking. I’m joking! But it could've been a nice two in one deal.

Without looking back at him, she had pulled out her wand, casting a vanishing spell on James’ chair that sent him crashing to the ground.

She didn’t feel bad. The other day, she mentioned to him loosely that she always wanted to dye her hair, at least once before graduation. James was harmless. He truly didn’t mean harm and thought he was helping when he switched her pumpkin juice with another drink that contained a hair altering potion. But he fucked up the moment he failed to tell her that.

For the past two days, she's woken up with different coloured hair and would change periodically throughout the day. Today, it was bright pink and had started slowly changing into a light purple. Madam Pomfrey, Lily, Y/N and James tried to reverse the potion with no success. James had mentioned that it was supposed to be temporary, but nobody knows James’ definition of temporary. It was worth it, though. Seeing Professor Mcgonagall’s reaction was priceless. She had yelled at the boy, made him apologize multiple times, but lost a hefty amount of house points despite the aid of Y/N’s protest that it was okay.

“OI!”

“Greedy.”

The table erupted into howls of laughter but Sirius’ face remained stoic.

“Okay, okay- here.” She sticks her hand out but didn’t expect James to tug her down, falling roughly to the ground with him.

“Sour sport. You know you deserved that,” she wheezed, still shocked from the sudden movement. The two quickly got up from the cold ground as Y/N returned to her seat; James muttered a reversal spell, reappearing his chair. The group continued to laugh lightly until James poked Sirius’ side.

He scowls playfully, "Lighten up, Pads! You're looking like Snivellus over there."

“Hmm,” was all he contributed.

"Why so grumpy? Did someone step on your paw?" James narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his friend. "Aw, perhaps you're jealous? I can have more than one friend! I still love you~"

"Just wasn't funny," Sirius grumbled lightly. He hardly even looked up from his lap.

A long measured silence bleed throughout the room, making everyone at the table uncomfortable. James’ eyes studied his friend, an unreadable expression followed as he dropped whatever joke he had in store next. His head swivelled before turning to Y/N, smiling reassuringly sensing her discomfort. 

She shrugged it off. Sirius Black was a dick and clearly his anger must have stemmed from her remark a few days ago. There was no need to feel threatened.

The asshole couldn’t take someone rejecting him.

The tension was cut once the barmaid returned with new cups full of butterbeer.

"Where's Remus?" Dorcas piped in. Opting to ignore the awkward silence, her eyes scanned the room in search of the boy.

"Decided to sleep in," Sirius cuts in, "Not feeling well."

“Aw, again? Poor thing. So, er... How is everyone? Fun weekend?"

Peter let out a happy sigh before he rubbed his jaw, "Just been planning out a few things." In addition to befriending James and gaining his trust to an extent, Peter had been quite friendly to her. She liked him.

This brought up James' mood immensely, "We've been thinking that the marauders haven't done a proper prank this year and since Y/N's here, I gotta show her my moves. Not gonna be child's play."

He continued, "But we're stuck on one part. We wanna create an itching powder of sorts. You lot got any ideas?"

"I don't want to get in trouble. McGonagall is already on our tails after the hair shit," Y/N muttered nervously. She had wanted to help, truly, but the idea of detention was not appealing. She had only seen the aftermath of small pranks the Marauders conducted. From stink bombs to lighting fireworks in bathrooms to scare students, she wondered what James meant by 'child's play.'

"You won't trust me."

"What if someone gets hurt?"

"I won't kill them! Bloody hell, who do you think I am?"

"Fine, tell me what you have in mind first?"

The prank seemed simple, yet terrifying and made Y/N and Dorcas' skin crawl. The marauders planned to get thousands of tiny spiders to infest the Slytherin common room and place itching powder throughout. It was a timely matter, they wanted to execute this Halloween day. Luckily for the boys, Halloween was due to fall on a Saturday.

"Shit, James, maybe that might be a bit far. That's traumatizing."

"Someone once said, ‘With great risk comes great reward.’ Besides, they've been bullying the muggle-borns lately. They deserve it."

He wasn't wrong. Less than a week ago, it was rumoured that a group of Slytherin pureblood supremacists had physically assaulted a new-maj. To add on, whenever James had made a public display of affection towards Lily in the Great Hall, most of the Slytherins would stare at the two, twitching or seething. Even if Lily hadn't liked James, if he offered to walk her back to the common room, she wouldn't deny it. Everyone was starting to become more on edge as the war continued.

* * *

About an hour or so later, the girls bid their goodbyes from the group and spent the rest of the day in Hogsmeade. Y/N was the most excited about Honeydukes. She’s heard of the hundreds of thousands of sweets lining the aisles and was excited to buy as much as she could. Both left with their money bags significantly lighter and tote bags filled with chocolate.

Before they knew it, the sun lowered below the skyline of oaks and pines. Dinner was delicious as usual and Y/N had finished running up to the common room to grab her bag of notes and books, rushing towards the library.

Once stepping in, soft voices flowed from the far right corner, a few lams shined brightly outlining the silhouettes of students. Approaching them, Lily and Remus sat separately chatting away.

“Remus you have to stop them!”

“Me?! Why not you?”

“They won’t listen to me and you’re a prefect now!”

"I'm sure James would- OW! Okay, look it'll be fun and you know it." Remus pauses, "Besides, I think everyone needs to be cheered up these days."

Y/N knocks gently against the bookshelves, announcing her presence as the two snapped their heads in her direction.

"You made it! Come sit."

She pads her way over to sit in between both Lily and Remus. "I overheard you guys a bit, what were you talkin' about?"

Lily's eyes rolled so far back that you could see nothing but white, Remus on the other hand lightly chuckles. "Remus and his little band of misfits want to throw a Halloween party."

James had mentioned a party they were throwing in addition to the prank. What she had heard in passing from other students, marauder's parties were legendary. This didn’t seem to change this year as gossip spread like fire in anticipation of what the boys were going to do. Mentions of alcohol, loud music and costumes floated around.

"Lily please, it will be fun." He turns to Y/N, his voice is husky, "What do you think?"

"I've always wondered what a 'marauders' party would look like."

Remus playfully smirks in triumph before looking at Lily again. She sighs before giving Y/N a pointed look. "Fine, fine! I'll just start to brush up on extinguishing spells, again. Someone is bound to start a fire or light fireworks."

"That's the spirit!"

The three began to share notes, planning out their next steps and discussing what part of the curriculum should be the main focus. An hour went by before Lily got up to talk to seventh years beside them, asking for their opinions and previous notes. But, the conversation died and left Remus, who made no move to converse with Y/N. Fidgeting with her hands, she wondered if it would be a good idea to do so.

To his left, Remus grabs a mug and brings it to his lips. She didn’t notice the smell until now, but it smelt like coffee. But coffee at… 8:30 pm?

“You know,” she blurts out, leaning in before lowering her voice, “James was telling me about the prank you guys have planned.”

He lifts his head from the books in front of him, placing his mug to the side before looking at her. This was the first time either had been up close to each other. Freckles littered his face, a small scar sat high on the bridge of his nose and a large one trailed on the side of his jaw. His hair was messy, falling slightly as he gazed at her. It felt oddly intimate.

She recalled earlier that Sirius mentioned Remus felt ill, and he did look a bit tired. Perhaps that's why he had coffee.

He cleared his throat before whispering back, “That was supposed to be a secret.” His face is almost unreadable and it was hard to gauge his reaction to what she said. As quiet as the boy came off across, he was extremely intimidating. His dark hazel eyes peered into her while he towered over her significantly even while sitting.

“Haha, yeah… um, James mentioned that you guys were stumped on figuring out how to do the itching. I thought about it before coming up here. Why don’t you use giant hogweed?”

"Right, then - you mean the plants by the black lake?"

"Well the sap from the giant hogweed, along with a mixture of water could be used as a spray. Put it in bottles and program it to spray every time a student leaves their common room."

Remus thinks to himself as he allows the information to sink in, "And it's readily available. It won't look suspicious. We won't have the risk of getting detention rather than stealing ingredients from the greenhouses or the Potions classroom."

His eyes widen as he takes her in, "That's bloody brill." For the first time since she sat down, Remus gave her a wide genuine smile. "Mind if I tell my mates?"

"One condition."

"Hmm?"

"Don't prank anyone that doesn't deserve it."

It was a quick upwards glance, scratching the side of his with his thumb. A nod of understanding crossed his face. The two returned to their notes, Remus even shared his book, filled with annotates, with her.

* * *

"Evans, the library's closing, we gotta go," Remus said looking from the large clock hanging on the wall. In response, Lily shook her head as her eyes frantically moved across the pages. She had been reading the new material that would be taught in the upcoming classes. "Lily, seriously. It's one thing to get detention, but detention with Pince? She'll drag you by your hair and set it on fire."

Without looking up, she laughed a bit. "Just go without me, it's fine, I'll come up in a few. Why don't you guys take a head start?"

"Are you sure? We can wait for you, Lils."

"No seriously, go. Besides, my patrol is up in a bit, I can just say I wanted a head start."

Hesitantly, Remus and Y/N nodded at her. Remus had turned to her before gesturing his head towards the door, his eyebrows arched in question. She smiled and slung her bag onto her shoulder.

They left the library together, walking out to the quiet corridors and made their way up the stairs. Quiet, yet comfortable.

"So how are classes?"

"Good, you?"

"Fine. I like them."

"Oh really? What's your favourite?"

"Charms. I've always been good at it, though, so I am biased."

"Lucky, I'm not bad, per se, but I'm not the best."

Remus looked at her, she didn’t. "Well, what about you? Favourite class?"

"I like Defence Against the Dark Arts, but-"

"Professor Keys' a massive tosser."

She looked up at him this time, the two smiling at each other. They both inhale a light chuckle.

"Yeah, a bit. But other than that, Astronomy and Herbology are up there.”

“Mm, I think we’re in those classes together, no?”

“Yeah, we are. I’m dreading that upcoming assignment Professor Sprout has planned.”

“Merlin, don’t remind me.

They continued to make small-talk. She had been enjoying the conversation so much that she hadn't realized the two were now standing in the Gryffindor common room.

"Good night, Remus."

"Goodnight, Y/N. I'll see you in class."

She slept peacefully that night.

* * *

She woke up to Lily's booming voice yanking back her bed curtains. “Wakey wakey!”

Blinking at the bright lights, she decided not to stall. Lily physically dragging her out of bed would be much worse. Looking across from her, Dorcas was still tucked in.

The bathroom was just big enough to fit all four of them. It was a pity that Alice and Mary were in a separate room, but at least the free space was nice. Marlene could barely stand, she was irritated and beyond tired, Lily’s loud awakening hadn’t helped. Looking up in the mirror, she noted her hair was a dark green. She brushed up, dressed, and stowed all of her homework and books in her bag. She was planning to attend another one of Lily’s study sessions but was unsure what exactly to bring.

Y/N was already dreading the classes to come. Transfiguration was first and she was apprehensive about the material McGonagall prepared to teach. Concealment was tricky and the stacks of parchment she was bound to assign only made it worse. Plus History of Magic was next, terrific.

Mary and Alice were sitting at the Gryffindor table close to James and Sirius. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary until she paid close attention to their body language; out of character and rigid. Sirius looked similar to yesterday after his little fit, his arms were criss-crossed over his chest and seemed bored. James on the other hand looked upset and worn out.

She blinked at them before sitting down next to Alice. Reaching for some toast she whispered quickly, "What's up with them?"

"Fighting, like always. Me and Mary placed a bet on who's going to cave first."

"I've got a galleon on James."

With the mention of his name, James looked in her direction before a forced smile settled on his face as she smiled back at him.

"Morning," he said, raising his hand in a little wave.

Sirius' already deepened glare turned darker as his attention was drawn towards Y/N. He was giving her a dirty look.

She glared back, "What?"

"Morning, your highness!" Sirius' voice was shrill and pitched several octaves higher as he mocked James.

“Oh fuck off, Black.” Y/N was done with his attitude.

"Sirius," James said seriously.

Sirius ignored him.

"Sirius." His voice was harsh this time. 

Sirius simply rolled his eyes before he got up to leave. But James cut in last second and shouted, "Well that was fucking rude."

Alice whispered back to the girls again, "I'm adding another galleon on Sirius."

James visibly sighed, his head dropped a little bit and he seemed defeated. He shot Y/N an atoned look. It didn't suit him. She was about to talk to him and cheer him up until Remus and Peter finally walked into the hall as James waved them over

“Hey,” James said, placing a coffee pot next to Remus, “Saved you a pot- didn’t know how much you wanted. Stupid little geezers tried to drink it all”

“Oh,” he continued, “Got you this too.” He flings out a copy of the daily prophet in front of him.

“Thanks, mate.”

“You too Pete, didn’t forget.” James lifts a plate of eggs and bacon, placing it in front of Peter. He mumbles out words of gratitude too before digging in.

"Mother hen, aren't you?" Mary cuts in.

"Of course- have to feed my chicks."

"Blimey, tad bit dodgy, don't you think?" Peter says as he stabs an egg off his plate, slightly waving it around with his fork as the table burst into laughter.


	5. ABBA vs. The Beatles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had trouble writing this one, hope it didn't show through my writing this time.
> 
> BTW: I always try to use little to no physical descriptions for the reader insert. Unfortunately, I had to add some things here and there.  
> 1) The reader has some sort of hair. I didn't mention hair texture or length. (Sorry if ur bald)  
> 2) You now live in Canada (I had to pick someplace okay)  
> 3) For my taller readers, I only mentioned that you were shorter than Remus (I never gave your or Remus' height)

* * *

“Merlin’s beard! Binns is a sadist; torturing students must be his only pastime,” James yawned, taking his glasses off to rub his eyes. 

Nothing could ever compare to the History of Magic. Today, lessons were dreadful. Professor Binns’ monotone voice filtered throughout the class, rambling on and on about various dates in history. Hardly anyone paid attention before he started calling on students. Annoyed, Binns would continue to reiterate his inquiry until the student(s) got the correct answer, no matter how long it took. 

A sadist indeed. 

Although Binns wasn’t the sole reason why the class was pathetic, but rather the lack of any practical work was simply a joke. The class only reminded Y/N of her short time in public school. Geometry? Utterly useless for any daily life interactions. To make matters worse, Binns surprised the class with a pop-quiz and two chapters of reading. Luckily, he had an ounce of mercy in his ghostly body and dismissed the class early for lunch. 

James continued, “I would rather fight a dragon than— Woah! Your hair! “ 

She glanced to look at herself through the reflection in James’ glasses. Her hair, which originally was emerald green, was now turning into a golden yellow. The different colours clashed together boldly. 

“You look like the banner for The Holyhead Harpies,” Peter said, striding up to James’ side. 

“The Holyhead Harpies,” James said dreamily, “They’re probably one of my favourite teams. 

Remus, who had been trailing behind Peter jumps in, “You only like them because they’re all women, you wanker.” He turns to Peter, his hand shooting up to the side of his head, massaging small circles into his temples, “Why’d you get him going?” 

James became insufferable whenever someone or something mentioned quidditch. Not only would he boast about his abilities as a Chaser, but he seemingly was a never-ending encyclopedia about quidditch. It only worsened as November neared, the start of the new quidditch season was approaching.

One time Y/N found herself stuck listening to him babble about Ireland winning the world cup for about thirty minutes. She didn’t have the heart to stop him, though. Nobody listened to his rants and he could hardly contain his excitement. How could she tell him she wasn’t interested? 

A monstrous smirk etched its way onto his face, “Caught me.” 

“Be anymore of a predator would ya, Prongs?” 

“Hey! That’s not the only reason why I like them. Did you forget their victory in 1953 against the Heidelberg Harriers? Their strategy was blood-fucking-brilliant. They’re legendary! My father was there to see it in person. Lucky bastard. He told me…” 

His voice fades into the background as Y/N catches Remus’ eyes. A glint of mischief shined through them before he forced a fake pitiful smile. He mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ to her before looping his arm around Peter’s shoulder, discreetly leaving James’ side and out of the classroom. 

_That sly mother fucker._

"— and did I mention that their seeker was one of the most sought out—”

“Wait, James.” 

He abruptly pauses, waiting patiently for her to continue. She leads them out into the corridor and towards the great hall. “Sorry, didn’t mean to cut you off like that, but when is my hair going back to normal?” 

Y/N instantly regretted mentioning her hair. There was no trace of a smile on James. His shoulders slumped a bit and his walking even staggered. “Godric, I know, I know and I’m sorry. I thought it would have returned back to normal by now. I’ve been creating reversal spells— even started asking Moony to help.” 

“Moony?” 

“Remus.” 

“Another one of your nicknames?” 

“It’s not a nickname! It’s a brotherhood— a pack.” 

“Oh, sorry Prongs,” she drawled, a sarcastic smile on her face, “If I didn’t know you I would assume you were an asshole.” 

“What? How?!” 

“You go around calling yourself a marauder, the king of quidditch and now Prongs. Seems pretty assholely.”

James’ mouth opens before closing again, repeating the process several times. 

“Plus, you pull silly pranks every day.” 

He chuckles, “Oi! You helped us with that itching idea!” 

Her eyebrows raised in acknowledgement, “Touché.” 

To this, James shakes his head, directing the conversation back to The Holyhead Harpies. 

* * *

They were among the first students to reach the great hall, aside from students who had a free or were excused early by Professor Binns. None of the girls were there yet. Unfortunately, Marlene was held back by Binns, so Y/N was left to sit beside James who sat opposite to Remus, Peter and Sirius. 

She had been trying her best to avoid Sirius whenever she could. It was clear he didn’t like her. He never laughed whenever she made a joke, he hardly noticed her, he never praised her, even if she tried to compliment him. He was just rude for no apparent reason. The rest of the marauders and girls knew this, although they preferred not to comment about the obvious, strained relationship (which they didn’t even know the reason for. Granted, Y/N wasn't quite sure herself. Was it the rejection, he just didn't like her or is just an ass?). 

Although, ignoring and avoiding him proved to be extremely challenging. Y/N was glued to Lily’s hip ever since the sorting ceremony. It also didn’t help that if you were with one marauder, another one was sure to follow. She and James started to spend more time with each other, and by extension, she was obligated to be around at least one other marauder. With the addition of study sessions with Remus, it was inevitable.

Surprisingly, Sirius hadn’t made any snarky remarks, excluding dirty looks, he was being… nice— nicer to her. The action was a stark contrast from his previous behaviour and she speculated a few reasons why: 

**1.** Most likely, James or Lily, she assumed the former, said something to him. Since his little spat with James at breakfast a few weeks ago, Sirius was tight-lipped ever since. 

**2.** Maybe he was done being a prick, deciding to stop by himself after realizing he was a prick.

 **3.** Went through something personal, it stopped, and his behaviour improved.

Minutes after the bell rang, students began to trickle in for lunch. The comfortable chatter rose as Y/N finished eating an apple. Everyone seemed pleased when James’ quidditch lecture was interrupted as hundreds of owls streamed in, packages and letters dropping into the laps of students. She hadn’t expected anything considering her owl, Celeste, didn’t drop anything off since the first week of October. However, today she fluttered down between the bread and fruit bowls, dropping off several letters and a small parcel onto Y/N’s plate, pecking at the bread crumbs on the table. She tore the letter open, inside it said: 

> _Dear Y/N,_
> 
> _I hope this letter gets to you safe and sound. I miss you dearly and hope you’re having fun at Hogwarts. It sounds like from your last few letters that you are!_
> 
> _Are you still having a hard time with Charms? If so, perhaps I find some textbooks and send them over._
> 
> _Are you making more friends? Lily and Dorcas sound like lovely girls!_
> 
> _The trees are beautiful this time of year, do you remember? All the trees have turned colours now and I’ve gathered up some syrup from the maple trees in the backyard. I’ve sent you a bottle you can eat with breakfast!_
> 
> _It’s getting cold up here. Do you want to hear something crazy? It snowed! In October! I guess that’s what we get for living in Toronto. Remember, don’t slack off this year, you mentioned to me how important your OWLs are and I only want the best for you. I’m sorry that I can’t help more. Send me a letter whenever you have the chance. (Make sure to tell Celest to be quieter next time. You know I can, and never will get used to the owls.)_
> 
> _With all my love,_
> 
> _Mom_

She opened the next letter, immediately recognizing the messy scrawl: 

> _Sunday, October 19, 1975_
> 
> _Y/N! I thought you replaced me with one of your brits, but a false alarm, your letters just take a while to arrive. Must be tiring for Celeste to travel to and from Scotland from America. You know, whenever people see her fly in, they still recognize her._
> 
> _Nothing is going on over here. Oh! Scratch that. My eyes are rolling as I write this, but guess who owes you another tape? Me. Mei and Asa finally got together, took them long enough. Since you’re technically not here, does that mean my part of the deal still stands? Haha, I hope not._
> 
> _Are you doing anything for Halloween? We’re doing another lame dance. Going to be alone this year now that I can’t force you to come. I guess I’ll just watch half the school dry hump each other while I smuggle in firewhiskey. Fucking pathetic, I know._
> 
> _Your brother tried out for Pukwudgie's quidditch team! He's told me not to tell you but he's in the last round of try-outs and didn't want to get everyone's hopes up if he didn't get in. Trust me, I've seen the other players, he'll get in._
> 
> _How’s it going over there? I heard from a few students, even read in the papers about the war. It’s getting pretty crazy over here. Teachers have been meeting and trying to prevent students and parents from losing their shit. My mom has been worried too, writing to me like a lunatic and I’m not even in the UK. The MACUSA have been keeping quiet but they were caught having meetings with counsellors from the Ministry of Magic. Even heard that Jenkins is stepping down. If it keeps getting out of hand here, I can’t imagine what it must be like at Hogwarts. I truly thought the war was dying down, I was wrong. Keep your wand close and don’t hesitate to blast a fucker. Surely, you’ll get away with a hex or two. Or blast them old school. Fist to face._
> 
> _~~Miss you,~~ until next time_
> 
> _Matthew G._

A bubble of excitement surged through Y/N as she read letter after letter. Matthew had been a close friend of hers since she began attending Ilvermorny. She missed him dearly. 

So engrossed in her new environment, her old life slipped to the back of her mind. There was a detachment from her reality compared to the one at home. A pang of guilt hit her, swallowing her up from the inside out until another pang hit, loneliness. If she easily forgot everyone, would anyone remember her? None of her old friends, apart from Matthew, had made a move to contact her since she left. 

Often thinking about writing them first, she had to remind herself if they wanted to, they would. Especially with the knowledge that people still recognized Celeste. 

Was she forgettable and if so, was is karma for forgetting too?

It put a mechanical vice grip on her heart, applying just enough pressure to be a constant reminder. With every beat, it tightened more and more.

Looking around the table, she saw her peers huddle in groups, familiar laughter ringing throughout. So noisy, so taunting. She may have been friends with Lily, Dorcas, James or even Marlene, but they had their own friends. Friendships that had years to develop before she came. She had only known them for less than two months.

Forgettable. 

_How hilarious,_ she thought. 

“Hey,” a gentle voice cooed into her ear, “Are you okay?” 

She hummed back absentmindedly. 

James wore a concerned expression, his eyes knitted together, one raised higher than the other like it always does when he was worried. The look he shot her suggested he wasn’t convinced, although he didn’t press; instead opting to stir the conversation. “So, who wrote to you?” 

“A friend, my brother and mom—” 

A snort so loud that it caused the rest of the marauders, random onlookers and even Lily (who had a look of pure disgust on her face) turned towards them. “What did you say?”

“I got a few letters?” 

“No!” He bellowed, “Who sent you them?” 

“My brother, my mom—” 

Nearly choking on his sandwich, James clutched his stomach laughing. Laughing so hard he has to grip the table to prevent falling off the hall bench. "HAHA! MOM?! MOM?” He mocked in a poor American accent, “What the fuck is mom? It’s MUM. Bollocks!” 

“We say vitamin.” 

“It’s VIT-A-MIN! Who says VIGHT-A-MIN?” Without a pause, James presses his entire body onto her shoulder, smushing her before grabbing the letter her mother sent her. His eyes scanned across the pages before hitting a certain word. “Toronto? Where’s that?” 

“Canada.” 

“CANADA? You don’t mean those snowy bitches?” At this, Peter and Remus snort under their breaths. Even Lily had to force down a smile. 

Staring deadpanned at him, in an unassumed voice, “Really?” 

“You are a bundle of surprises! I thought you lived… I’m not sure. I assumed somewhere like New Hork.” 

“ _York_ ,” Lily corrects. 

“Tomato, tomato,” he jokes, playfully batting his eyes at Lily before biting into his sandwich, “I thought you said you lived in the States?” 

“It’s like how you ‘live’ in Scotland but you really live in England.” 

James takes a moment, letting the conversation die down before he quickly glances at Y/N again. An undecipherable expression crosses his face before it’s promptly replaced with elation, “I take back anything negative I’ve said about Canada. They have an amazing quidditch rooster. Have you gone to any of their games?” 

A low grumble of sighs follows at the mention of quidditch from James. 

“Nah, ‘muggle-born,’ remember?” She air quotes, “My mom— sorry, MUM— hardly understands the wizarding world, let alone what quidditch is.” 

His eyes were wide, whimsical, as a hand fly to his chest dramatically, “Rubbish! Bloody ridiculous! You’ve never seen a real quidditch game? One day, I swear I’ll bring you to one! Or you can bring me to Canada and we can watch a home game!”

As James continued to talk, Y/N’s mind slowly drifted back to the bitterness in her chest. Trying to distract herself, she borrowed Lily’s quill and a few sheets of parchment, scribbling down letters in response. 

> _Mom,_
> 
> _Thank you for the syrup! I can’t wait to eat pancakes with it tomorrow._
> 
> _Overall, everything has been fine! I’ve made some new friends. Been doing fairly well in my classes and there is never a boring day here._
> 
> _I’m fine with charms, you don’t need to send anything. And don’t worry, I’ve been studying for my OWLs._
> 
> _Yes, I remember the trees! I wish I could see them again. Do you remember that one time Irvin pushed me off the maple tree closest to our house when he showed his first signs of magic? Ouch._
> 
> _I hope everything's good at home and it isn’t too lonely there. I’ve got to send you some of the snacks from Hogsmeade here (it’s a shop near Hogwarts), they’re great! (I sent a couple of snacks to Irvin and I’m waiting on a response.)_
> 
> _Love you, write soon._

The next letter was addressed to Matthew:

> _Matty Matt,_
> 
> _Of course, I didn’t replace you… yet. (that is a THREAT)_
> 
> _AND YES! THE BET IS STILL ON! I want either Led Zeppelin’s Physical Graffiti or The Velvet Underground’s self-titled, thanks! See, this is what you get when you don’t listen to me. I told you their breaking point was less than two months._
> 
> _People still remember Celeste? That’s crazy._
> 
> _Another dance? You would think the students’ protest last year would have influenced the professors this time. I guess it’s time for you to get wasted. I didn’t tell you last time but I think I’m going to a party. A friend of mine is throwing it and I know he’s going to force me to come no matter what. He briefly mentioned costumes and drinks. Plus, there’s going to be some kind of prank that I may or may have not been apart of? Sounds cool right?_
> 
> _Yeah, I’d say it’s been bad up here. I don’t know much about what's going on outside of school, though. The professors are hiding it well. I didn’t even hear about Jenkins stepping down. Keep me updated._
> 
> _~~Miss you,~~ until next time _
> 
> _Y/N_
> 
> _P.S. You know I’m always ready to throw a hex or two._

She sealed the letters before sending Celeste off again, “Be quieter when you drop off the letters, yeah?” 

* * *

It must be her lucky day. 

The ringing of the bell went off, signalling the end of class. Professor Flitwick asked the students to stay behind so he could hand out quizzes the students completed on Monday in preparation for their upcoming test on Growth and Reductor charms the following Tuesday. 

It was never a good sign when a professor flips your test over to prevent other students from seeing their mark. Flipping it over at a downwards angle, Flitwick handed Y/N her quiz. 

Turning it over nervously, a tight coil formed in the pit of her stomach. A large P was plastered on the top right corner in bold red ink. She studied hard for this too. Angrily, she shoved her work into her bag and left the class. This was the third ' _poor'_ she'd gotten in a row. She should have told her mother she needed those Charm books. 

* * *

“I swear I’m going mad! Her brother is a complete cow! He even— are you listening?” 

She looks at the girl beside her, Marlene. Her glossed over, doe eyes must have served as an answer before the blonde shook her head. 

“Sorry, distracted,” she mumbles, before forcing out a fake-happy tone, “Continue your story! I wanna hear!” 

“Hey,” Marlene says in a softer voice, “If something’s bothering you, you can talk about it.” 

“No, it’s okay,” she replies instinctively. She felt bad spacing out during Marlene’s story but her mind was running through and under hoops. The last thing any fifth year student needed was to fall behind in their classes, let alone feeling like nobody cared about them. 

At that moment, she wished she was wrapped away in red and gold blankets to wallow in her self-pity party, away from prying eyes. She could feel the burning sensations of tears building up. 

_Dammit._

Y/N looked out the window to her left. The sky was melting with the warm hues of reds and yellows while the other half was being slowly engulfed into a cloak of twilight. Even from here, she could feel the cool air seeping in from the windows making her tug on the sleeves of her robes. 

She continued, “I’m just tired— been a long day. I’m going to take a nap before dinner. See you.” 

Judging by the look on Marlene and Lily’s face, guilt riddles her body. They both look sympathetic. The pity only made Y/N feel disgusting. In all honesty, Y/N will care later. Right now wasn’t the time and she desperately needed some shut-eye. 

Before she left the room, she overheard them talking. 

“What’s up with her?”

“Dunno.” 

_Great._

* * *

Sleep did little to ease her thoughts. 

The same uneasiness she felt on the train ride to Hogwarts settled deep into her bones again. She thought she was past this. The worrying about friends, missing home, feeling alone, failing class, stressing about her future. The rational part of her brain knew it was just one silly quiz (and old shitty friends), but knowing herself, if she were to continue to have this mindset, she would only fail in the end. 

Dinner ended and Y/N belligerently climbed up the stairs towards the library to attend today’s study session. The Charms quiz threw her into a loop and it was better not to dwell on it, opting to rather use her time for something useful. 

Her marks improved significantly since she attended her first session two weeks ago. The last couple of assignments and quizzes she handed in that she worked on during the groups were some of her best work, ever. Additionally, her ability to retain information was improving at astonishing rates and she found herself participating in lessons more often. Unfortunately, she started to doubt her abilities. 

There weren’t as many students as usual. Perhaps it was because of the quidditch meeting for all teams tonight, or because nobody wanted to spend their time in a library Friday night. She assumed it was the latter. 

In the far back, surrounded by tall bookshelves sat Remus. Another student, a first or second year, judging by their height, seemed to be asking him a question, rapidly writing down something on a piece of parchment whilst they walked away. Remus leaned back in the brown chair, his right leg was folded over the other as he stretched. 

She spent over twelve hours minimum with Remus directly since the first session, minus the time he was around James and the girls. Perhaps she only started to notice afterwards but she swore Remus wasn’t around this much. He was everywhere. 

In the past couple of weeks she’d gotten to know him, she made a mental list in her head of him:

 **1.** Remus loves sweaters, grandpa sweaters especially. They weren’t flashy, seemingly preferring to wear ones with small designs, stripes or a solid colour. He wore green the most. He also wore cardigans. Two, in particular, he wore the most; one was white and the other was a muted brown. They were big and hung off his loose frame, the pockets were often stuffed with books, rumpled parchment and his wand.

**2.** He’s a coffee addict. He drank it in the morning, the afternoon, at the study session and sometimes with meals at dinner. He loved to dump pounds of sugar, so if he only drank black coffee, it usually meant he was in a bad mood. James even joked that he became Sirius whenever he drank black coffee, because _haha! Get it? It’s **BLACK** coffee!_

**3.** He frequented the library whenever he wasn’t with the rest of the marauders. He enjoyed poetry, wrote post-it notes after post-it notes to annotate his favourite parts. He even slept from time to time, not without having to persuade Pince to not give him detention.

As if Remus magically sensed her, he took a large inhale before he stopped stretching, opening his eyes to look at her. A small smile was plastered on each other’s faces. He stuck up a few fingers to wave at her, motioning her to come over. 

“Hi Y/N. I thought you didn’t come on Fridays?” 

“I don’t but I have a test, Charms, Tuesday.” 

“Oh, well I’m happy to help.” 

“Thanks for the offer, Professor Lupin, but just being down here will help me focus.” 

A scarlet blush settled on his face at the mention of his tutoring. “Well come sit with me then.” 

Pushing the chair out of the way, she sat down beside him, pulling out her cassette player and earbuds along with her notes. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus staring at the player curiously.

“Do you want to listen?” 

“If you don't mind. I didn’t know you could use these here.” Picking it up, he turned the rectangular device. 

“If record players work here, why not this?” 

She hands him an earbud, alongside a small collection of other tapes she had on hand. 

“Choose whatever you want to listen to.” 

Without much thought, he pressed the play button. The upbeat tune of _Waterloo_ by _ABBA_ trickled into their ears. Y/N bobbed her head up and down before the song was suddenly stopped. 

A sour grimace sat on Remus’ face before their eyes met, his nose upturned slightly. 

“Why’d you stop it?” 

“I fucking hate ABBA.” 

“What!?” 

“I just don’t like their cheesy disco-pop-esk sound. They sound generic and random words are thrown in when they don’t add to the song.” 

“Jeez— never met anyone who hated them that much.” 

A ghost of a smile appeared before he flicked through her collection of tapes. He picked up _Abbey Road_ by _The Beatles._ Opening the player up, he slid out Waterloo. With a click and the press of a button, _Come Together_ played. 

_‘Here come old flat top_

_He come grooving up slowly_

_He got joo joo eyeball_

_He one holy roller_

_He got hair down to his knee_

_Got to be a joker he just do what he please’_

“So you hate ABBA but not The Beatles? Benny and Bjorn said they were influenced by them!”

“Keyword: **Influenced** ; which is just another word for a shitty knock-off version.” 

**4.** Remus Lupin is apparently a music snob. 

“Well, I think both are good.” 

“Respectfully, I disagree with you.”

“Whatever you say, Professor.” 

* * *

She sighed for the umpteenth time before putting down her quill. Her chair scraped back noisily as Y/N’s hand balled up into a tight fist, feeling her fingernails bite into her palm. She’d been flicking through her notes, the words all blended. 

At this rate, if History of Magic didn’t exist, Charms would surely be her least favourite class. 

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” 

She was at a loss, this was the third time Remus had offered to help and he was persistent. 

She felt horrible that she was taking up his time to help her on a stupid Charms test. 

He continued, “If you think bothering me is an issue, it’s not. I run the sessions on Friday. It’s my job.” 

“Fine, but there has to be something I can do in return.” 

“Hmm,” Remus pondered for a second, “How about this, I tutor you in Charms and in return you give me your History of Magic notes? For the life of me, cannot pay attention in that class.” 

Quickly, she outweighed the pros and cons: 

**a)** She couldn’t fall asleep in Binns’ class anymore and would _have_ to listen to him. 

**b)** Or she fails Charms. 

“Deal.”

“Great. Before we start, is there anything in particular that you have questions on?” 

Silently tapping on the quiz she received today, Remus snatched it and quickly scanned over her answers and Professor Flitwick’s notes. 

“I see what happened. You know, the curriculum taught at Ilvermorny is different. That’s probably why you can’t understand some of this shit.” He cleared his throat, “So as we know, the growth charm increases the size of your intended target…” 

His voice, like a light switch, changed instantly. Instead of his softer deep, raspier voice, it became commanding and steady. He never stumbled over his words and articulated his points elegantly. She found herself enraptured by him, understanding why he was in charge of the study groups. 

Eventually, Remus takes a pause, “Does that make sense?”

“Yes. You know, you’re really good at this. No matter how much I asked Flitwick or even Lily I could never get it.” 

A large blush bloomed on the apples of his cheeks before he shyly rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “I’m not that good.”

“No time for modesty, Professor Lupin!” 

“Okay, okay! So here, do you see what went wrong? There would be a reaction with those two spells if—”

A boy, small, most likely a second year, stood at the foot of the shared table holding a large red and gold book. His hair, dark ginger, similar to Lily’s, was cut short. He fiddled with his fingers as he continued to stare at the two. 

“... Um, hi. You're Remus— right?” 

“Yup. Did you need help with something?”

“Yes! I’m having trouble with the transfiguration spell, beetle into button.” 

A look of understanding passed through his face before Remus turns to look at her, “Duty calls. It’ll be quick.”

“Of course, take your time.” 

* * *

It was not quick. Understandably, very few were successful at the ginger’s age to perform the spell, but thirty minutes passed and the second year still didn’t understand the basic concepts. No matter how many times Remus had reiterated his point differently, the boy couldn’t retain it. 

“I just don’t get it.” 

“You learned this last year, it’s revision. I don’t understand what part you’re talking about. Look, do not wiggle or twirl your wand left, direct it towards the right. You have to picture the spell in your head before saying the incantation.” 

He guided the boy's hand steadily before performing the spell himself. 

“I don’t understand!” The boy whined. 

He sighed, “Then we keep trying—”

“It’s too hard. Why are they teaching this crap?”

“Could you stop complaining?” He snapped, closing his eyes before he realized what he’d just done. “I’m sorry about that. I’m… just tired. I can’t help you anymore, though. You should ask someone else,” Remus said brusquely, his eyes unnerving as he stared at the child. As a result, he yelped out a ‘thank you,’ rushing off in the opposite direction. 

The muscles in his jaw tensed under the soft glow of the table lamps. There was a pale red tint rimming his eyes and he looked visibly paler than normal. Irritated, he bounced his knee rapidly, up and down, before looking out the large window beside them. The sky was mostly cloudy. Only the peak of the silvery moon appeared. A sliver was missing before it was fully complete. 

He closed his eyes, before breathing in. His posture once stiffened, completely relaxed before a flimsy smile reappeared on his face, returning his attention to Y/N.

“Let’s continue, shall we?” 

“If you’re tired we can stop.” 

“No, s’okay. I just said it so he would stop bothering me.” 

She chewed the inside of her cheek, adding to her list: 

**5.** Remus was always so hard to read. 

“Let’s.” 

* * *

Remus had very graciously helped her go over notes after notes and even ended up lending her his own, not without protest from Y/N, though. The session came to an end as they walked back to the common room together. 

"I've been thinking a bit, why did you come to Hogwarts? Why not just stay at your old school?" 

"Better education, less wizarding laws— I had the chance so why not? Once in a lifetime opportunity."

"I'm assuming you have dual citizenship?" 

"Mmm." 

Then they split ways. 

She had to tip-toe inside the room. The lights were already closed and the blinds were drawn. Y/N sneaked past the girls, getting ready to sleep before sliding into her cool bed sheets.

From her peripheral vision, shadows danced all around the room. From the small crack of the window that wasn’t covered by curtains, she could see the black clouds filling the sky. Watching them float by, she curled on her side before drawing the blankets over her body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used: 'Come Together' by The Beatles
> 
> \- Introduced characters that may or may not be important for the future


	6. Regulus Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible errors.  
> this chapter was inspired by that one scene in HPHBP.

* * *

"Miss L/N, do you have a moment?" Professor Flitwick called just as the rest of the class was dismissed. Her stomach dropped; she should have known this was coming. Just three days ago, she completed the Charms test. Luckily, this time it was easier than usual, thanks to the intense revision she did with Remus. She'd been waiting impatiently for the results. Although, that flew out of the window as Flitwick stood there waiting to talk.

Surely, he couldn't be that concerned about her or her grades, could he?

Shoving the rest of her textbooks into her bag, she stood, one hand shoved deep into the pockets of her large robes while the other hand gripped the strap of her bag. She stared at her feet until Flitwick finally spoke once the class filtered out.

“You did well,” he said, beaming. He pulled out a few rolls of parchment. It was her test. He hands it over before she takes it gently. Y/N’s eyes skimmed across his notes and the fat E plastered at the top of her page, even a small lopsided happy face was drawn.

Wide-eyed, she looks at him, his smile as bright as ever. This was surprisingly good news.

“You improved drastically—” using his arms to emphasize his point, “—compared to the last quiz. You even made a cross-reference to sixth year material.”

She felt like a goldfish, her mouth continuing to open and close. She was desperately racking her brain for a response but came empty-handed. It was odd. Hearing praise from a teacher wasn’t uncommon territory for Y/N, but it certainly was from Flitwick.

Her professor continued to stand there, watching intently before a soft, knowing smile graced his face. “Very impressive; reading ahead like that. You have a lot of potential. Keep up the good work.”

Dumbstruck, she turned to leave until he spoke again, “Five points to Gryffindor!”

Outside waiting for her in the corridors was Lily. Her body swayed back and forth as she waited for her patiently. But, she seemed anxious; fiddling with her long hair between her fingers and shifting her weight. Knowing Lily, she was most likely nervous about being late to class.

Sensing someone’s eyes on her, she pivots her feet, “Hey!”

Even without knowing it, Y/N had become quieter and has given everyone a bit of a cold shoulder. She hadn’t purposely tried to, but she found herself spending less time with her new friends and gravitating towards isolation. Things were finally starting to catch up on her; she felt overwhelmed and found herself becoming afraid of growing too attached too hastily. But she liked the change. 

One of her new favourite places to hide, where Lily could not find her, was a nook just large enough for a few people to sit in. It was hidden by a tapestry that hung high on a stone ledge nearby the common room. It was cozy, spacious enough and even had its own light source; a large window in the shape of a tall dome. Half of the window seemed to be partially bricked up. Whoever was responsible must have forgotten to finish covering it. She was able to watch the sunset from there while reading, writing, or simply just listening to music.

Nonetheless, her withdrawal did not go unnoticed. Lily of all people had been the most persistent in her attempts of figuring out what was wrong.

“Hi,” she beckoned at her.

“How are you?”

“Okay.”

“That’s good! My lessons were great today. Y’know, Professor Sprout lent me some tea. I can’t wait to try it out. How about I make a cuppa for us later?”

“Mmm! Sounds great Lils.”

“Er… Potter was bothering me again. He must have the brain of a fish.” She groans, thinking back to the memory. “What about you? Was class okay?”

“S’fine.”

At the lack of responses, Lily’s lip flattened into a tight line, expression hardening for a fleeting moment. Y/N felt guilty before she decided to add on, “ Ugh—I must be dreaming, look at what Flitwick handed me back.” She shoved the parchment into Lily’s hands to avoid any more questions.

“That’s excellent! See, I told you that you were going to do fine.”

She hummed back.

* * *

Potions were like always, nothing special. But today Slughorn began prepping the class for an upcoming potions assignment. Everyone was excited to brew it, but the notes he made everyone take were painstakingly boring.

But, she was rather unnerved by Snape’s insistent staring which was directed more towards Lily rather than herself, yet Snape did sneer a few times at her too.

Instead of partnering with Snape like usual, Lily asked to be partners for the upcoming project before he got the chance to. She used an excuse such as them sleeping in the same dorm and it would be easier to communicate, but she had a feeling that Lily was lying. Her body language was closed off and her back was towards Snape.

With the Slytherin creepily staring, it made it hard to focus on Lily, James’ distractions, what Slughorn was saying and writing down on the board in front of him.

She was keenly aware of his grip on his quill. It would tighten before loosening, the process repeating throughout the entire lesson. His face looked greener and paler than usual too. Whether it be from Lily’s choice of partners, or Y/N herself, she enjoyed him being slightly upset. But, his actions were fairly noticeable and even James noticed his staring.

For a brief second, she wondered if his anger had to do with her blood status. There had been rumours circulated him ever since she arrived at Hogwarts. Severus Snape was a blood-supremacist, obsessed with dark magic, used slurs with his Slytherin friends and even wanted to be a part of Voldemort’s inner circle. Even if it was all speculation, she didn’t doubt it.

The look on people’s faces only fueled the rumours. Faces would sour whenever Snape walked by and people even were gleeful whenever the marauders would harmlessly prank him (aside from Lily). Even the Slytherins seemed pleased whenever he got a taste of his own medicine.

Possibly, Snape had been starting at Y/N instead, unable to stomach the sight of Lily with someone who did not have pureblood. If that was the case, she hoped he liked her _dirty, dirty_ blood. Although, it was weird. Even though he allegedly was a frantic blood-purist, he was close friends with a new-maj.

There were two distinct times Y/N tried to briefly mention to Lily that Snape seemed like nothing but trouble, but it was a lost cost. Not only was it not her place to interfere on an almost six-year-long friendship that had more roots than her friendship with Lily. but:

  1. Lily either became extremely defensive or would deflect and try to change the subject.
  2. Nobody truly understood their dynamic and she had hardly witnessed any of their real interactions.
  3. If Lily thought he was trustworthy, then there must be some sort of truth to that, right?



Twirling her wand in between her fingers, she managed to finish the last set of notes on the blackboard before the loud sound of the bell signified the end of class.

Strangely though, Slughorn got up from his seat and made a b-line towards her and Lily’s direction.

"Miss L/N! Miss Evans!" His annoyingly cheerful voice echoed, "You were just the witches I wanted to catch before you left. Now, as some of my most prized students in my class this year, what do you say about coming to supper in my chambers tonight? I'm having a Halloween party! I've got some of your classmates coming— Remus Lupin and Severus Snape; the talented Regulus Black— I reckon you don't know who he is," Slughorn finally pauses turning to Y/N. In reply, she shakes her head at him. "Well, he's a part of the noble house of Black. You're familiar with his brother, Sirius, correct? You are in the same class after all. Interesting family. So what do you say?"

Astonished, she didn't know how to respond. Was there some sort of mistake? Her? A prized student? The last time she checked, she had been failing Charms a couple of days ago.

There was no way of escaping this, not when Lily had beamed proudly at the praise and already blurted out an eager yes. The Potions master was staring at her, waiting.

Smiling painfully, she greeted out, "... Of course, Professor."

"Splendid! Take ten points for Gryffindor! Remember, tonight!" Tossing one last glance, he turns to leave the girls to pick their bags and leave. Y/N whispers to Lily, "There must be a mistake! You, I understand, but me?!"

"Don't be too harsh on yourself!"

As soon as they left the classroom, behind the door popped out two figures, James and Sirius. James had a bright smile, his cheeks tinted pink at the sight of Lily while Sirius strangely had a small frown, even in Lily's presence.

"You two are know-it-alls! The fancy and lucrative Slug Club?" James said, flashing a toothy smile while looking at Lily.

"Congratulations, Evans."

The redhead does nothing but takes a deep inhale, closing her eyes, then exhaling. She waves the boy off, walking towards the direction of the common room. The three followed in suit.

"Godric, she loves me."

Lily turns around, "Shut your mouth, you dirty toe-rag! I am not!"

"I'm going to marry you one day."

"Pffff," she scoffs, "If you were my husband, I'd be sure to poison your food."

"And I'd still eat it if you made it for me."

"Alright then— how about I make you dinner tonight?"

"Anything you want, my Lily-flower."

James then looks over to Y/N, pointing to her, "And you! If I knew you were doing so well, you should have helped me!"

"I like watching you struggle, Potter."

Lily chimed in, "You can say that again!"

James looked funny as he sprinted up to catch her. His messy mop of hair bounced while his arms flailed around. He looked like a newborn deer on ice. “If Y/N doesn’t want to tutor me, will you?”

“No!”

On the other hand, Sirius’ frown deepened before he huffed out a quiet, snarky remark. Y/N had only caught onto the words ‘show-off’ and unbelievable.’

Lily was too busy arguing with James to hear what he had to say. She turned to Sirius, “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

He laughs sarcastically, "You of all people What a show-off. I bet Slughorn must've lost the pot if he thinks you of all people deserved to be invited."

The sentiment was too good to be true. Sirius fucking Black did it again. The sudden outburst virtually came out of nowhere. Foolishly, everyone, including herself, assumed Sirius was perking up to her. There hadn’t been any sly remarks nor outwardly passive-aggressive jokes. She was under the impression Sirius was about to comment on James' failures at wooing Lily. But at last, his vindictive candour blundered and the apparent deal he made with Lily or James was over.

He must have intended to be quiet or less rude with his statement because a look of shock passed through his features.

She bites back, “At least Slughorn has confidence that I have some sort of promise, Black. What about you?”

To this, James whipped his head so fast, even giving Y/N whiplash, as his mouth frowned. He marched over to them while Lily was hot on his tail.

“There you go! Always thinking you’re better than everyone else. Get off your high horse, princess.”

“You’re jealous! You must be if you’re acting like this. You can’t treat someone with an ounce of respect when the spotlight isn’t on you? Your parents must be _sooo_ proud since you clearly aren’t achieving anything noteworthy.” She taunts. It must’ve been a low blow considering how his body became stone-like. He balled his fist so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

“You better watch it! You’re a—”

She scoffs, taken aback, “Did you just threaten me? You better watch _your_ mouth.”

“Oh sod off! I’m so scared! What are you going to do, huh, L/N? I bet—”

“Blimey! What is with you two?! Give it a rest!” James marches over to Sirius while Lily hooks her arm with Y/N’s. If she wasn’t so angry, she would have noticed the small interaction James and Lily shared. Finally, it was not something out of pure detest or annoyance. A flash of understanding passes through their features before Lily shot Sirius a look that told him to step back. Lily manages to drag Y/N away from him, walking away quickly towards the common room. In the distance, they both hear James say dangerously and uncharacteristically intimidating, “Sirius, follow me. Now.”

Thankfully James and Lily’s authoritative nature kicked in when it did, preventing the fight from escalating. Wanting to get as far away from Sirius as possible, Y/N wiggled out of Lily’s grip, nearly sprinting up the staircase. For the most part, she memorized her way throughout the school and knew how to back herself. A very worried Lily was jogging after her.

“What the fuck is his problem?” She girts out angrily.

Unsure of what to say, Lily takes a moment to think about her response carefully as they slowed down, getting closer to the fat lady. “Between the two of us, his attitude has been rubbish the entire year, It’s not just you, but Remus, Pete, Marlene, me— you get it. He won’t even tell Potter. It’s not what you said before— he respects your decision. Hell— he still considers Marlene a friend and they had a nasty end. It’s just…” Her voice becomes small, “I dunno. Nobody does.”

Lily continues to defend Sirius, or at least tried to.

“Well whatever he’s going through, I hope it’s awful if he’s going to act like a child.”

* * *

The rest of the day was thankfully uneventful.

Y/N spent most of her time before the party to catch up on any outstanding work, although her fight earlier put a damper on her mood which was only magnified as the rest of the girls began to stream into their dormitory.

Around her, everyone walked on eggshells. It was only a petty argument. A short one in fact, yet everyone seemed jumpy. She was more upset at how people reacted and treated her rather than the actual fight. It might have been partially her fault, though. She had been distant and she’d never been good at hiding her emotions.

While she got dressed for the party, Dorcas, Marlene and Lily were huddled together, speaking in hushed voices thinking that Y/N couldn’t hear.

“—got into a row.”

“Again?”

“Yeah— I dunno— them— nasty thing.”

“— past month— do you—”

“I’ll talk to— no?— maybe.”

“He— she did?— Wasn’t that—”

Y/N sat up straight and walked over to the bathroom, locking herself in with a small click before casting a silencing charm on the door. She didn’t need to hear about them gossip any more than they already have.

* * *

It was eight o’clock by the time she arrived outside the entrance of the common room. Lily was already there waiting for her. She was wearing a cream dress with a matching purse held together by gold threads that contrasted magically under the low lights. Her gold jewelry only brought colour to her face and reflected nicely with her smooth skin and hair. Lily looked nothing short of beautiful.

“Ready?”

“Of course.”

The two walked up the large marble staircase. Lily made light-hearted jokes on the way, garrulous in her excitement. She chatted her heart away and soon enough they were already approaching Slughorn’s office.

The closer they got to the door, Y/N felt their feet dragging and hesitated before going in.

“Hey, you okay?” Lily asked, gently touching her arm. “I know today has been… less than satisfactory.”

That was one way to put it.

She didn’t speak and Lily took the moment to resume, “And you’ve been off.” She puts kindly, “If you need to talk we can. We can just tell Slughorn something came up.”

She was quiet, unsure of how to answer. “No, let’s go inside. I’ve just been… feeling down.” She desperately wanted to be anywhere but there, except Lily had been looking forward to it.

Not giving her time to respond, Y/N opened the door to Slughorn’s office. The sounds of voices, chatter, laughter and light music flowed.

His office was much larger than the average teacher’s study. The stone walls were tinted light brown as large windows were draped with dark green, almost black curtains. Halloween decor was scattered everywhere. Pumpkins floated up high while the room was lit by an ornate golden glow from nearby torches. In the middle occupied a large circular table with silver plates of food and chairs.

“Lily! Y/N! I’m glad you could make it!” Boomed Slughorn as soon as they stepped through the threshold. He wore a tailored black and orange striped suit with an analogous hat.

He made his way over before draping an arm around Y/N. “I’d like to introduce you to a few students. I’ll be right with you Lily!”

He led her into the heart of the party while Lily chatted with Snape. Slughorn pointed out several students of both she did and did not know. He continued to introduce her to various students until moving to the side, heading directly towards a boy.

He was of average height. His hair, black, was messy yet looked like it had been done on purpose. He wore a classic black suit, looking bored.

Slughorn came to a stop in front of him. Up close, he smelled of expensive cologne and seemingly had a close resemblance to—

“And this is Regulus Black, Sirius’ younger brother.”

His eyes were dark and calculated as Slughorn continued to talk. His eyes surveyed her up and down, in an analytical fashion before he made eye contact with her. He looked hauntingly handsome; dark and impeccably sharp.

“—he’s one of my best. Now, I’ll leave you two alone to chat. I have to make my rounds.”

She watched him walk away, stalking back up to Lily who was now talking to Remus. He scanned the vacancy, attention fading once their Professor stepped in. The two made brief eye contact. Remus looked tired as he flashed a crooked smile.

“Hello,” Regulus said, bringing her attention back to him. His voice was low and accent aristocratic. Although similar to Sirius’, his voice was vastly different and unexpectedly soft compared to his visage. “I didn’t quite catch your name, Y/N, correct?”

“Yes.”

“So..." He tries to find the right words, "You're familiar with my brother?”

“Hardly.” She grumbled out. The mention of the other Black brother reminded her of their confrontation, only irritating her.

The conversation was stale and uncomfortable. Neither student looked at each other, although she caught Regulus taking several glimpses at her when he assumed she wasn’t watching. They did not know whether or not to continue talking, however, Slughorn seemed to want them too.

“Er… What year are you in?”

Regulus replies dryly, “Fourth. You’re fifth?”

“Yup. So,” she started, “Another one of his prized students? He likes to collect us, doesn’t he?”

She finally gauges a reaction from him. A small smile appeared on his face as his monotonous voice became more animated, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he had jars set aside to put us into.”

He went on, “I wasn’t terribly interested in what he has to say. He tends to poke around far too much.”

“Exactly!” Regulus’s company was already far more enjoyable than his brothers.

Although, his smile, as quickly as it appeared, vanished as his eyes darted to the right. Curious to what caused his sudden reaction, Y/N vaguely turned their head. A small group of Slytherins were huddled in a group to the side as they looked at the two of them in disgust.

He coughed slightly before averting his eyes away. Opening his mouth, he was cut off as Slughorn bellowed, “Gather ‘round! Take a seat— it’s time for dinner.”

They were the last two students to join as they were the farthest away, leaving two empty seats beside each other. Regulus sat down beside her, yet hesitated for a split second.

Slughorn went around the table, engaging in conversations and asked everyone a few questions which quickly revealed everyone's connections or talents. On her left sat a bespectacled man, who she learned was a seventh year Ravenclaw, was invited because his sister was a high-ranking Ministry Auror. Regulus, mentioned earlier, was invited due to his talents in potions and the importance of his family. To this, his face flushed while his expression remained unchanged.

Across the table, Remus looked rather bored. His eyes hopped around before he settled on tapping his fingers on the wooden table and checking his watch often. In all honesty, he looked miserable. He was probably ambushed to come, just like how Slughorn did to her earlier. He was invited because of his high grades and his father had world-renowned authority on Non-Human Spiritous Apparitions.

She and Lily were the only new-majs there. Lily had great potential as a top-ranking student at Hogwarts. Y/N on the other hand knew she had strong talents in various subjects, like transfigurations, yet was still unaware of what made her that special to be invited.

She blocked out what Slughorn had to say about Snape. But she did note that Snape, who'd been seated next to Lily across the table, seemed to stare at Remus every so often.

Her attention was slowly dragged away from Snape and back onto Regulus. His posture was impeccable, which made her aware of her slightly slumped shoulders. She straightened them and watched Regulus’s fingers tap the side of his leg.

“Y/N, do tell us about your time at Ilvermorny. I assume it’s been an interesting transition?”

Everyone’s eyes trained on her. She glanced at Lily in distress; she did nothing but smile encouragingly.

“I have fond memories.”

“That’s it? What did you do there? Tell us.”

“Um— there isn’t much of a difference between Ilvermorny and Hogwarts aside from the students and traditions. But Hogwarts is much bigger. I do find that Hogwarts tends to teach the curriculum faster.”

“Interesting to know! How about your parents? What do they do? They are muggles, right?”

“My mother is a doctor.”

“What’s that? What is her profession considered—dangerous, exciting?”

“She’s the new— sorry, muggle-born— equivalent to a healer. Er, she’s highly respected and I wouldn’t consider her job to be dangerous, but more so risk-taking?”

“And how so?”

“Well, she has to keep her patients alive,” She tries to joke. Nobody laughed. “Umm... one wrong move and they’re dead, y’know. She has to be careful. But more than once she had to put someone out with a sedative for being too aggressive.”

From her view, she sees Remus bow his head and silently laughs.

“Right,” says Slughorn, looking borderline uncomfortable.

Y/N prodded at her food, her appetite disappeared. She didn’t care about the rest of the students or what Slughorn had to say. It was a disastrous party that continued to drag on. Fortunately, dessert was passed out when a raucous crashing came outside of Slughorn’s door. Startled, he got up, opened his door and looked around Without success, he found nothing and returned to sit down.

Attention was dragged away from Slughorn and onto Remus as he stood up from his seat, wearing a blank expression. “Sorry Professor,” he said politely, “But I just remembered I have prefect rounds. I promised to take someone else’s shift.”

Lily looked at him strangely, her head tilted in question, while Snape looked at him even stranger.

Remus didn’t make eye contact with anyone but Slughorn.

“Ah! Yes, yes! How responsible you are. Very well then, I hope to be seeing you here in the future.” He excused himself quickly, tipping his head in gratitude before exiting.

* * *

The party ended shortly after Remus left. The only tolerable part was the pile of dessert laid out in front of them. Y/N even managed to snag a few sweets before she was escorted (more so dragged) out by Lily who was disapproving of the stealing.

“It’s not stealing if it’s being offered to us.”

“You took an entire plate of sweets and shoved them into your pockets and my purse. You even tried to put on an undetectable extension charm on it!”

“And I’m completely justified! I’m running low on the chocolate I got from Honeydukes.”

Lily giggles before twirling in the direction of their common room, but Y/N’s feet were rooted in place. Lily noticed after taking a few steps, the sound of her heels shuffled back. “Hey, aren’t you coming?”

“I think I’m going for a walk.”

The redhead’s eyes widen. “Are you sure? Curfew is soon.”

“Yeah, positive.”

She bombarded her with questions after questions. “— do you need me to come with you? Or did you want to talk about—”

“No,” she cuts off, “Sorry, I just think I need some time alone.” Her eyes plead. Once Lily realizes her answer wasn’t forthcoming, she backed down before another look of pity flashes.

“Well, I’m always here.”

“Thanks.”

They bided their goodnights and walked in the opposite direction. The last thing she wanted was to hear under hushed whispers from the girls speculating her behaviour, again.

Too caught up, Y/N hadn’t paid attention to where she was walking, but the sound of someone else's footsteps altered her.

“You know, you’re heading the wrong way.”

She jumped at the voice, “You scared me Regulus.”

“Are you lost? I can lead you to the Gryffindor common room?”

“Oh, no, no. I wanted to go for a walk.”

He considers her for a moment, his gaze sharp. Y/N fought the urge to recoil under his watch.

He gestures down the corridor, “You still headed this way?’

She contemplates it, “Yeah.”

He looks at her, then around him, then walks up the hallway. He carries on, walking down the dark corridor when he stops to look back at her, “Are you going to stand there?”

The walk was silent for the most part. The sound of her and Regulus’s footsteps reverberated throughout. She took several peaks at the boy, his expression was unfathomable.

She only realized now that nobody ever mentioned him, not even in passing. Y/N was under the impression Sirius was an only child, or his siblings weren’t old enough to attend Hogwarts. It was strange. 

“It’s not polite to stare,” he commented.

Shit. She snaps her eyes away, feeling her skin heat up.

“Sorry, ‘was thinking.”

He’s quiet again, “It’s fine.”

Silence surrounds them again before the two hear the crinkling of parchment. Regulus’s body tenses, almost wincing at the sound. His eyes darted around for a split-second, strands of hair falling gracefully in front of them before he spoke. “The Slytherin common room is just up there,” he points, his voice turning cold again. “I have to go.”

He whispers lowly, “It was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise.” She tilted her head quizzically. With a nod and polite curt, Regulus speeds away, disappearing into the dark.

Y/N turned to move again. It was late, past curfew and Lily must’ve been worried. Plus the sweets in the pockets of her dress were starting to weigh her down. As she turns around, the signature sound of Professor McGonagall's heels clicks down hard on the cold stone floors. A dim light was approaching her around the corner becoming brighter and brighter.

Panic settled in. It was one to half-lie; say she was coming back from the Slug Club and heading towards her dorms, but she was halfway across the school, very far away from Slughorn's office and her common room.

It was too dark to make out her surroundings and there was only one corridor aside from the one connected that McGonagall was coming from.

Out of nowhere, a pair of strong arms yanked her back into a passage she hadn't seen a large sheet of fabric was tossed over her.

Her body was pressed firmly against the cold stone wall, while her other half was captured into a hug. A large hand was clamped around her mouth to prevent her from screaming while the other tightened its grip around her waist. She proceeds to squirm around in hopes to free herself, but with little hope. They were strong.

Her heart was pounding so hard and loud she heard it under her laboured breath. The thumping flowed through her veins, travelling throughout her body as icy fear followed. It crawled, trapped and inescapable underneath her skin. She's unable to reach her wand from this angle and her hands were bound too tightly to perform wandless magic. With no other option, she bites down on her attacker's hand, hard, and even manages to dig her heel into their shin. A muted hiss follows as the person drags their hand back. As they spoke, she felt every bone in her body tense up, as if someone had cursed her.

"Stop moving."


	7. Master Plan

* * *

_“Stop moving.”_

The shuffle of footsteps surrounded her, becoming louder and louder. Thankfully, the rational part of her brain caught up and began to formulate a plan. 

**a)** Surely if she were to scream now, it would alert professor McGonagall. She would come rushing to help and free her.

 **b)** But if she stepped on the person's shoe while screaming, it would distract them just long enough for her to have a head start. The pain would be so sudden that they would drop their arms and she could run. If she focused hard enough too, she could channel magic around her. Besides, if all else fails, McGonagall would still be there. 

Option b) sounded like a great plan. 

Now that her attacker's hand was drawn back, Y/N opened her mouth until she promptly shut it again. In the dark, she vaguely makes out a tall figure coming into view, a familiar mop of fawn-like hair appearing from behind her. 

It was Remus. 

With his presence, her body instantly relaxes. Her shoulders slump as tension and fear slowly dissolve. Remus tosses her a glance, shooting a gentle smile before his face darkens as he nods. He brings a finger to his lips, warning them to not interrupt. 

To her delight, Y/N feels the person’s grip loosen even more, however, their arms were still caged and secured snuggly. Her heart slowed, becoming calmer as her brain moved from the idea of self-defence to confusion. 

McGonagall finally enters the main corridor. From where they stood, her back faced them as she peered around the darkness, gripping the base of her candelabra. It glowed brightly, lighting up the surrounding area. 

This was the only time Y/N had seen her professor after official school hours. Her outfit was mismatched; a soft pyjama set, with her school robes and heels on. She swore she had a sleeping mask hanging around her neck. Had pure adrenaline not been coursing through her veins, she would have snorted. 

Remus uses this to his advantage as he shuffles his way towards McGonagall. He brushes off the non-existent dust from his suit before he reaches into his pocket, placing a shiny pin on the breast pocket. He then coughs, gaining her attention. 

Startled, McGonagall wheeled her head, “Mr. Lupin! What are you doing here?”

He puts his hands in the pocket of his suit cooly. “Good evening professor. I’m doing my rounds. I actually just came from Slughorn's party a while ago.” He says, gesturing to his unusual patrol outfit. 

McGonagall remains silent, choosing to take in his appearance. Y/N can almost see the confusion written on her face. She peers sternly over her glasses to look at Remus. If he was nervous, he hid it well because his expression managed to stay unchanged and there was no trace of a lie. Her eyes scan him one last time before speaking, “You’re not supposed to be on rounds tonight.” 

“I switched places last minute with another prefect. They weren’t feeling well.” Remus quickly adds on, “— you might know them? Calwald; sixth year Slytherin.” 

“Ah, yes… I heard footsteps coming from here. Did you see anyone?” 

Remus looks like he’s thinking quickly. “Yeah, just a first year Slytherin. I escorted them to their common room.” 

Professor McGonagall’s unnerving gaze even made Y/N shudder. She tuts, her head drops in a small nod. She stands tall, “Very well then, goodnight Remus.” 

“Goodnight, Professor.” 

The soft clicks of her heels started up again. McGonagall heads in the opposite direction of the Slytherin common room while Remus pretends to walk away before pressing himself against a wall, camouflaging with the shadows in case their teacher were to look back. The echoing became quieter until only a soft, almost inaudible clicking came from the distance. The glow from her candles was gone and darkness surrounded them again. 

Y/N was made acutely aware of the other person’s hold around her waist once it slackens, pulling away from her. The heavy fabric is dragged off her body before she turns over to her attacker. 

“Sirius?”

She jerks away as far as she could, angrily. Her fingers twitched momentarily. 

“You almost ruined it,” he spits out cold and aggressively. His bluish-grey eyes stormed, ripples of angry waves rolling from them. From the proximity, she swore she could feel the venom dripping from him as she released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. "And you bit me!" 

She should have bitten harder. 

She hisses back, “Shut it! How was _I_ supposed to know that _you_ were sneaking around?”

“Pads!” James growls, yanking at Sirius’ shoulder, “Fucking leave her alone. You’ve done enough today.” 

“You gits!” Remus scolds, making his way back to the secret passage. He remained calm, directing his next sentences to the boys. “It was a mistake, okay? Calm the fuck down or you two will get us caught.” 

Sirius huffs out, childishly. “Whatever you say Moomy.”

“Ha. Ha.” 

“What’s going on?” Y/N askes. 

At this, Sirius calms down a bit before he looks at Y/N again, a strange expression settles on his face. James on the other hand is ecstatic, “Right! We’re setting up the last part of the plan right now. The itching spray!” 

Oh!" 

“Yeah. Wormy is already inside the Slytherin common room making sure the spiders and Dungbombs we put in there are working.”

“Did you say he’s **_INSIDE_ **their common room?”

At this, his smile grows, “Got their password by waiting outside their door and Polyjuice potion. Our dear Moony brewed it.” Remus’ face is smug, his chest puffed out. 

“Holy shit! I didn’t know you took it this seriously. Couldn't you be expelled for this?!” 

"Godric, maybe Remus needs to give you his prefect title." 

“I’ll gladly give it to you— fuckin’ hate being one.” Remus jokes, “Nah, we’ll be fine as long as we don’t get caught.” 

“We’ve got our goody-two-shoes over here. Everyone loves him, won’t suspect a thing.” James says. Her eyes are back on Remus, sweeping from his face then down to his shiny prefect badge. 

“I’m their scapegoat.” 

Sirius sighs impatiently before cutting in, “Alright, I’m sure you can go now. McGonagall is long gone.” 

Everyone shoots him a look. 

“Oi! No! Please join us!” James whines, “You’re already here and trust me it’ll be so fun!” 

“He’s right, join us,” Remus says, “Besides, you suggested it and it’ll be safer and easier to cover our tracks.” 

It sounded exciting and she did need a pick-me-up considering her wavering emotions lately. Although Sirius’ jaw clenched. He was scowling at her. 

“I’d love to join you,” she says, looking Sirius in the eyes.

A silent whooping came from James who balled his fist, throwing them into the air in celebration. They huddled together just as Remus led them out of the passage and through the dark. 

James, who shared qualities of a golden retriever, walked by her side, a pep in his step. "You get to see the action first-hand, excited?" 

“Of course!”

James rambles on before his eyes gloss over. He’s unusually quiet. Simultaneously, he grabs her hand and stops abruptly, dragging her to the back of the group. He lends in to whisper, his eyes flicking momentarily to Sirius, “Why were you with him?” 

“Who?” She whispers back. 

“Slug Cl—” She cuts herself off as she realizes, her eyes widened before staring at him, “You were following me!?” 

“No! No!” He says, bringing his hands up defensively, waving them around. "You were walking in the same direction as him! To the Slytherin common room! It wasn't on purpose!" 

“I— how did you— I didn’t even see you!” She thought back to the crinkling noise, “Wait, we heard you!” 

He sighs a bit as he pulls out a large fluid-like, shimmery, silvery cloak. Upclose, silver threads were woven onto it, patterns swirling into regal shapes. He handed her the cloak to feel. It was silky smooth and glittered prettily in the light. It looked similar to the reflection of stars in a lake at night. 

“You’re not telling me this is a…” she gaped. 

The boy was grinning from ear to ear as if it were sewn on his face permanently. In a way, it looked rather demonic. He looked as if his face were going to split into two. “You betcha! An invisibility cloak.” 

Her mind finally caught up to her once again before thinking back to what James asked. “Why’d you want to know about Regulus?” 

“Huh! E-erm… no reason.” 

She punches him softly in the arm. “You lying bastard! You can’t be nosey and not tell me? He’s not… bad? Is he? I quite like him.” 

“No he’s not… just—” James cuts himself off, fearing he might have said too much. He did not expect the conversation to turn in this direction. He quickly averts her attention to another topic. “The Slug Club?” He says loud enough so the entire group can hear, “How was it?” 

She would make sure to push him on the topic later. 

Meanwhile, Remus and Y/N groaned. 

“Awful.”

“Dreadful.”

“Nosey git.” 

“Happily annoying.” 

“He must be an actual slug. He’s slimy and boring.”

“Merlin! It can’t be that bad!” 

“Oh trust us,” Remus addresses, “It’s worse. The entire time he went on and on about stupid shit. Like what was it he said?” He looks at Y/N. 

“Ugh, what?” 

“When he went on about that kid— what was his name… Seán?” 

“Ah! Wait,” she straightened up and mocked their professor. She fake coughs for dramatic effect. “Your aunt created the Capmisted potion! Ah yes, brilliant, brilliant! I wish I taught her when she was at Hogwarts. Say, you’re still close, right? Why don’t we invite her to come to one of these parties one day?” 

Her painful attempt at a British accent made them laugh. 

“What a fucking sleazy bloke,” Remus chokes out. 

They continued to make their way down to the Slytherin common room. All four jumped at the sound of footsteps before Y/N felt the invisibility cloak being tossed over her body, along with the rest of the boys too. They waited until it passed before finally stopping at the dungeons. 

The entrance to the common room was by a stretch of stone. The area was dimly lit, the ceiling was low and had an eerie look and feel to it. Plus the cold only made Y/N rub her hands up and down her arms, goosebumps left in their trail. A dripping sound encompassed them like a makeshift metronome. 

It made her feel uneasy. 

Peter, who was crouched and small, hid in the shadows and would’ve gone unseen had he not popped out and scared all of them.

“For fucks sake Wormtail! We thought you were a Slytherin earlier.” 

Peter was gleeful. He donned a large smirk and his face was slightly red. The Polyjuice was almost completely worn off, however, Peter had a full head of black, thick hair. “I checked everything, the traps should be set to release at eight o’clock.”

“An hour long?” 

“Needs time to travel around the room.”

“Positive?”

“Positive.”

“Now comes the fun part,” James nudges her. 

“Oh, hi Y/N,” Peter says slightly confused.

“Hey, Pete, here to watch if you don’t mind.” 

Peter takes a moment to look at the rest of the group, “More the merrier!”

“Alright, you geezas! Let's get this party started!” James announces. He digs through the side bag he was carrying, pulling out four pairs of dragonhide gloves and tosses them to the boys. “Sorry, haven’t got any for ya. Would’ve brought an extra if I knew you were comin’.” 

“It's alright.” 

“Okay,” Remus says before crouching down, a large bag on his side. “I’ll start attaching everything, you know what to do and be careful. Remember, do not touch your eyes.” 

He looks up at her, “Y/N if you could, it would be helpful to be on the watch out.” 

“Gladly.” 

Remus unscrewed bottle after bottle, attaching nozzles on them while James helped him. Peter slid out a ladder that was concealed by magic in a slim nook. As he scaled it, Sirius held on tightly to it before he cast a charm to prevent it from sliding around. 

Up high, concealed by darkness and magic, revealed hundreds of identical bottles before Remus sprang up, switching places with Peter as he attached the rest of the bottles onto a huge system. 

It looked similar to a new-maj mechanical system. The components consisted of small wires, a timer, tape and string connected to them all, along with a small lever that was attached to the underside of a brick. With the aid of magic, they were all securely set into place and ready to be activated. 

“What is that?” She turned to Peter.

“Moonys got the bottles up there programmed to spray every time certain people leave the common room. See, look,” he points to the almost non-existent glow on the wires. 

She marvelled at their creation. It was large and must’ve spent hours trying to conduct it. Sirius and James were helping Remus by passing him the bottles and securing them to the top of the roof. 

If only Lily was here to see this. She would have an aneurysm. 

At one point, Peter had been passing the bottles up to Remus while Sirius and James fiddled around with extra dungbombs they had, scattering them around. 

“Jeez, Moons, my arms feel like they’re on fire.”

Peter did look worn out before he panted out. His forehead was starting to glean from sweat. 

“Why don’t I do it for now?” She says to him before looking up to Remus. 

“Only if you want to.” 

The two switched places and Peter handed her his gloves. She slipped them on before enchanting them to fit snugly around her hands. Bending down, she picked up a few bottles. They were unexpectedly very heavy. She understood why Peter had to take a break. Although Remus seemed to be fine. Compared to his slim look, Remus had an unusual amount of strength that surprised her.

They worked in phases. Every ten or so minutes, Peter and Y/N would switch positions. They all worked in silence. From time to time, Peter and her would crack a joke, causing Remus to overhear and chuckle himself. 

Everyone was having a good time. Even Sirius perked up, being less hostile to the entire group and even her. She thought she was dreaming for a split second. 

The group worked quickly and managed to attach all of the bottles along with Dungbombs with only a few interruptions from incoming students. Luckily, they had the cloak to cover themselves and their things. 

By the time they were finished, it was past one in the morning. They all huddled together underneath the cloak. Unfortunately, it was only medium-sized and unable to fully cover everyone from sight. Sirius and Y/N, who were on the edge on opposite sides, their arms and legs would poke out. More than once, it became very uncomfortable and hard to squish everyone inside as they flattened themselves against a wall anytime they heard even the slightest of movements. They kept impossibly silent, aside from James who’d been elated; constantly making small jokes or making sound effects with his mouth. Remus had to flick him a few times to keep quiet. 

As soon as they reached the Gryffindor tower, they removed the cloak. 

“Gastropod!” Cheered Peter to the fat lady. She swung open for the five of them. The warmth of the fireplace crackled as they threw themselves on the sofas. They all tried to catch their breaths and still their pounding heartbeats. 

Pure adrenaline pumped through her veins as she took a moment to take in what just happened. 

James was grinning from ear to ear, Peter seemed cheerful, Sirius became somewhat tolerable, while Remus, as always, seemed tired. 

Remus, covering his mouth in a half yawn muttered out, “It was fun having you here but I’m knackered. I’ll see you lot at breakfast. Night.” 

“Me too,” Peter said. Sirius followed them as they made their way up to the boy’s dorms.

James stayed with Y/N for a bit afterwards. Both were giddy and they even ate a few snacks she still had in her pockets. 

“Wasn’t that fun!” he said, “Godric, you need to join more often.” 

“I’ll think about it,” Y/N says playfully. 

“I’m going to train you— gonna make you into a mini-me. My apprentice.”

“I think the world has enough of your arrogance.” 

James laughed unbothered by the remark, “This is only the beginning. Just you wait.” 


	8. Halloween

* * *

The next morning, James was vibrating with pure excitement. With every step he took, he happily hummed a song stuck in his head while bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

He somehow managed to get past the multitude of spells placed on the stairs of the girl’s dormitory, making his way up to Y/N’s room. As quiet as he could without, assuming, to wake up Lily (which he did), James knocked softly and repeatedly on their door, asking for Y/N. 

Groggily, she managed to get ready in record time without breaking a sweat. She was too worried James was going to wake the rest of the dormitory. 

When she opened the door, like the pureblood, aristocratic gentleman he is, James’ back faced the door while he stared directly at the wall in front of him, preventing him from seeing anything he wasn’t supposed to.

“James,” she shuts the door, “You can turn around now.” 

He looked rather dishevelled; his floppy hair stuck up in all different directions and his glasses had fingerprint smudges on them. James lifted his sleepy eyes from the uninteresting, blank wall, back to her.

“I wanted to sleep in, so whatever you have planned better be good.” She yawned as they trudged down the steps and out of the common room. 

Hardly anyone was wandering the halls, aside from Peeves who they ignored. Light poured through the halls, reflection from the glass sparkling across the corridors and shined brightly off of James' glasses. The sun had fully risen, and the light rosy hue glided across the sky mixing with several clouds. 

“Nonsense! It’s not early,” he beams. His voice lively, “Besides, we'll have the best seats.” 

He dragged her to the great hall, sitting down directly in the middle of the Gryffindor table. From there, it gave the widest and clearest shot of the Slytherin table. 

They were among the first group of students to arrive, other than a few seventh years with large mugs filled with coffee and NEWT study books clutched in their hand. A few house elves roamed around, cleaning the tables and setting down plates before they soon vanished. Some were slowly putting up Halloween decorations in preparations for the feast that night. 

The sound of flicking paper and the soft scribbles of notes filled the air. Even the birds singing their morning rituals trickled through the thick glass panes. The calm and quiet atmosphere was a stark, but lovely contrast from the busy and lively tone Hogwarts customarily carried. 

By now, the rest of the marauders, aside from Peter, joined them before the rest of the girls did too. Marlene particularly looked the most upset from being dragged out of bed as she hunted down James with her eyes. 

James sat on Y/N’s left while Dorcas was on her right. The two girls engaged in a light conversation, still trying to get to know each other. 

Sipping her tea, Celeste came swooping in, dropping a letter in hand. She hopped her way over to Dorcas, stroking her wings while Y/N opened it. Inside it read: 

> _Thanks for the chocolate! It was great! I got Professor Dumbledore’s card. He’s your headmaster, right? I can’t believe I’m telling you this but Ilvermorny hasn’t been the same without you. Is Hogwash at least fun? You have to send me photos if you can. I need to see how it looks there. Do they have a hog theme? Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, Hog’s Head? It must be a part of the culture, right? Send more chocolate frogs next time. Bye, love you._

Her brother finally wrote to her. A sense of joy flooded her body as she placed the letter back down on the oak table. Y/N made a mental note to write back to him another time and send a bulk of sweets she stole from Slughorn. 

Dorcas continued to play with Celeste. “This might be a sign, I’ve been thinking about getting an owl lately. It would make things easier. I love magic, but there must be a more effective way to send letters, right?” 

“I wonder what no-majs think; seeing owls flying by in the daylight. Might as well tell them we’re magical.” 

“Right! It must be-” 

“BOO!” Peter yells. He crept behind the three, jumping and yelling into James’ ear. He pulled off a white sheet with two cut-out holes. His arms were raised high in a bat-like formation as he pretended to be a ghost. He was so loud that James, Y/N and Dorcas’ bodies flinched violently, even making Y/N choke on her tea. The rest of the group had seen Peter prior to his scare but kept quiet. They continued to laugh. 

“You absolute dick! Made me drop my toast!” James cried. 

“A warning next time!” Dorcas shouted. 

“Happy Halloween!” Peter sang while the group followed with an identical phrase.

The rest of the student population started to pile in before the marauders and Y/N observed the Slytherin table carefully. The girls were oblivious to the intense staring. Y/N’s focus was solely on the Slytherins, which made her feel guilty for ignoring Dorcas. Nothing happened for a few minutes and Remus cursed under his breath, mumbling how their plan failed. 

But just then, a thumping sound made everyone swivel their heads in the direction of a Slytherin boy, who shot up from the hall bench, itching underneath his clothing. He let out a loud cry, continuing to squirm around and gain even more attention. The boy then reached under his clothing, clawing at whatever was causing such a reaction. 

He dug and dug until his hand stopped; pulling out from his school uniform was a couple of spiders latched on. 

Then all hell broke loose. 

Spiders were crawling through his hair and upper body before his tan face became a pale beat red. Not from the embarrassment, but from the scratching and slapping from his friends trying to swat them off. By now, other students at the table were squirming in their seats. Both boys and girls wiggled around, a few screaming at the spiders and their reactions to the spray. 

The extreme and bizarre behaviour had everyone gawking and judging. 

In the distance, the entire hall could hear loud footsteps and screaming. Slytherins burst into the hall, spewing on about a mysterious liquid, spiders and dungbombs. If the entire student population concentrated hard enough, they would have felt the vibrations from the bombs ticking off and students running away. 

Most by now were furiously scratching their arms and legs while others continued to fling their body around in hopes that spiders weren’t attached to them. Some even began to run around paranoid, relocating at the Ravenclaw table. Luckily for the marauders and Y/N, the only professor to witness the catastrophe was Professor Binns. 

They did it. They really did it. 

And Y/N helped to achieve it. 

She encouraged and helped organize the chaotic state of the Slytherin table, which at this point, were having meltdowns. 

Within seconds, she felt bad as a trickling feeling of sharp needles poked her skin. Unable to look at the scene playing out, she downcasted her eyes back onto the table as she became unfocused to drown out their frantic screams. 

She did not hate Slytherins. Their house values are admirable and while yes, she disliked Snape and for the most part did not get along with the mass majority of Slytherins, there were also many good and kind ones. 

And while there are arrogant and annoying Slytherins, there were also equally as arrogant and annoying Gryffindors; James is a prime example. Surely, pranking students that harshly just because they wore a somewhat different colour on their tie is not morally justified. Right? 

As if he were a legilimency, James leaned in. “Stop with that face. Look over there,” he points, “That piece of shit called a Hufflepuff **_that_ ** word for months. He can’t get away with that.” 

The boy he points to had one of the worst cases out of all the other Slytherins. At this point, he was full-on sobbing in front of the entire great hall. His forehead dripped with sweat and his clothes were torn off. In the process, he scratched at his skin, littering his body with angry rashes. His hair was not any better. Spiders danced in his ears and hair before travelling down the side of his neck. 

Over at the Hufflepuff table, a small group stared at the boy, cheering at his misfortune. 

At the very least, it was good to know that the marauders did not tolerate blood-supremacists. 

“Besides, it’s not permanent.” He tries to make her feel better. “Learned the hard way with your hair— tested it on myself just to make sure.” 

She turns back to him, “My hero.” 

“Don’t tell him that.” Marlene cuts in, a teasing edge to her voice, “It’ll inflate his head even more.” 

“Shhh! Continue with the compliments!” He jokes, “But really, say that to Moony. His brain makes it all happen.” 

From her angle, Remus showed no signs of excitement or elation rather than a tiny smirk of satisfaction. Lily, on the other hand, had sprung from her seat, rushing towards the Slytherin table where she and a bunch of other prefects were desperately trying to sort out the commotion. She looked back at Remus, her arms failing out, motioning him to help. 

“Lads, ladies, I’ll be back.” He pushes up from the table, masking his smile completely, replacing it with a forced look of sympathy and worry on his face. 

Lily then moved to a hunched-over Snape, who had the itching the worse. He wiggles back and forth, his skin rivalling Lily’s red hair. Every time he shook his body, spiders would fling out of his oleaginous hair. His lips and eyes were irritated and almost swollen shut but were hidden behind his curtain of locks. 

She felt herself shiver at the sight. 

She scanned the rest of the table. Approximately, forty Slytherins were quivering in their seats while the rest were watching in horror. Her eyes continued to hop from victim to victim until halting on a familiar face. 

Regulus. 

He was unharmed. Not one itch, scratch, red or swollen eyes, spiders or mist seemed to touch him. Y/N discreetly peered over to Sirius. His eyes were glued to the scene in front of him; donning a smirk of triumph. There was little indication whether or not he even looked at his younger brother, although Regulus was. 

His face contorted slightly and she saw the cogs in his brain turn. His expression became nonchalant as he ripped his gaze away, looking down at the silver plate in front of him. 

_Perhaps they did talk to each other._

* * *

The afternoon rolled around and the common room was starting to be rearranged. Halloween decor was scattered throughout. Jack O’lanterns, which someone stole from the great hall, floated high in the air; paper bats were charmed to zip around while streamers and orange and black tinsel hung from the portraits. 

A large bowl of punch and bottles of whiskey sat on a counter crowded with an assortment of other drinks and cups. There were also large piles of snacks in pumpkin-shaped bowls lining every inch of the room. 

Most of the younger new-majs wore costumes throughout the day. From classic no-maj pop-references to famous witches and wizards, they were all creative or very cute. It reminded Y/N of her times at public school when you were allowed to wear costumes to class. 

Dinner came by fast. The feast was delicious as always and everything was themed accordingly. There were pumpkin pastries, apples, carrot cake, pumpkin juice and all sorts of spooky-themed food. Dumbledore seemed the proudest and happiest of all the teachers; even his glasses twinkled with a mystical glimmer that had only been present at the sorting banquet. 

He made a toast to everyone. His uncharacteristic black and orange robes made everyone in the great hall chuckle. Even McGonagall gave a rare smile. 

The ghost came out to glide around; scaring and traumatizing first years. Nearly Headless Nick was brutal. He flung his head off, pretending to let his guts fall onto the laps of first years. It even made Y/N feel uneasy. 

Anticipation for the party started to build up as the majority of Gryffindors were bouncing in their seats, along with Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and the very few Slytherins invited. 

Lily was forced to attend no matter what. She took her role as prefect seriously and wanted to make sure nobody got hurt or started a fire. Knowing James and his penchant for fireworks and strangely, arson, it was most likely bound to occur. 

During dinner, her eyes were glued to a large book, mainly filled with extinguishing and reversal spells. She’d been nudging Remus constantly to read along. 

Y/N on the other hand was being ordered to attend as well. Lily, who had been increasingly worried about her distant behaviour, wanted to find a way to ‘keep an eye on her’ while not broaching the subject out of respect and privacy. With the addition of the other girls going and James’ pestering, it was not an option to skip. 

And if she were to go, a costume would be necessary and overall a way to just have some fun. Lily and Y/N threw together a few makeshift costumes. Despite Lily’s protest, which she assumed was forced considering her smile, they both looked and felt good about themselves. 

Lily was your classic angle, decking in white and gold as she enchanted a halo above her head. Y/N on the other hand wore an all-black bodysuit, courtesy of Marlene who lent it. 

Last-minute, she decided to make cat ears out of paper before placing a spell in them, replacing the paper to have realistic fur. With one last glance in the mirror, she enchanted everything to fit her. Applying makeup, she drew on a few whiskers and a black upside-down triangle on the tip of her nose. Luckily for Y/N. her hair managed to be a suitable colour. Instead of neon green or yellow, it was an angelic silver that glimmered nicely when the light hit it. It also contrasted nicely with her outfit. 

When they made their appearance, students barely began to pile in. 

Marlene, or a spin on Cinderella, was standing near the fireplace holding a cup. Her head was tilted as she leant in to talk to Dorcas. Both looking shyly at each other. 

James’ costume was over the top. He had white dots littering his face as a similar black nose was painted on. He had very realistic antlers on top of his head and wore a beige suit with a brown fur jacket. Whatever the double meaning meant, his costume was apparently very amusing to Peter. 

Once he spotted her, James looked rather determined and slightly scary due to the face paint, as he marched up to her. 

He gives her a once over, “My, my L/N. You clean up well.” 

“You too, Bambi.” 

The two talk before he makes his exit, drifting off to Lily. 

By now, the party was in full swing. People were dancing and singing and the music was so loud that the deep thumping from the vibrations was felt through every bone of her body. 

All years were invited, but first years were not permitted anywhere near the alcohol. Cups were charmed so that fifth year students and upwards were allowed to drink under the careful watch of seventh-years. 

Bored and uninterested, Y/N surveyed the room where her eyes land on Mary. They both made eye contact as Mary sticks up her hand, motioning over to her with her fingers. 

She and Mary don’t talk often. Y/N spent most of her time away with Lily, Dorcas and by mandatory extension of Dorcas, Marlene. It was understandable, though. Neither were in the same dorms, knew each other previously nor did they share classes with the few exceptions of Transfigurations and Herbology. However, from what she knew, Mary was confident and overly friendly, especially when drunk. 

“Hiya, Mary.” 

“Hello!” She chirped back. 

Mary was not dressed up in a costume but wore a tight, all-white disco bodysuit that showcased her curves. She truly captured the room's attention. 

“Meowww! What a sexy thing you are.” She says flirtatiously. 

“Thank you, but look at yourself!” 

“Thanks, doll. Sit with me!” 

Y/N lowers herself, letting her back hit the sofa. “How are you?” 

“M'kay, you?” 

“Just fine, love! Living life to the fullest!” Mary cheered. 

Somehow, Mary was already tipsy, borderline drunk. The sight was quite funny. At some point, she became uninterested in their conversation and more into the loud pop song playing. 

She suddenly stood, hoisting Y/N to her feet in the process. It took a little convincing but Mary pulled her into a dance, and then a second one and then a third one. The two tried to dip and twirl each other, having the time of their lives. For a moment, Y/N felt free. 

One of Mary’s hands was on her waist, while the other one was raised in the air, swaying. “Godric, we are hot! Don’t let anyone bring you down!” 

“Whatever you say!” 

Mary’s energy was unmatched, but Y/N became tired and thirsty. She reluctantly pulled away despite Mary’s protest. However, she already pulled Alice away from another Gryffindor to the dance floor. Y/N did not know his name, but he was tall and another prefect. 

The two signalled to each other, making sure Mary was to be supervised at all times. 

She made her way over to the table lined with drinks. She poured herself a glass of firewhiskey; the burn felt nice as it slid down her throat. 

Looking back to the dancefloor, Y/N was already forgotten as Mary managed to replace her presence with Dorcas and another girl, equally as drunk. Marlene was still off to the side, although she was talking to Sirius. They both were in deep conversation. Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed as he listened to her. 

Sirius did not wear a costume. His tie hung loosely around his neck while he held a cup in one hand. He wore a white dress shirt, a couple of the buttons were undid while the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up. 

Peter donned the same ghost costume from earlier. He was standing next to Lily, watching James spin around in circles, performing a type of magic trick. The two had equally confused faces, but Peter, being the wing-man he is, continued to try his best to defend and cheer James on. 

The sticky feel from the firewhiskey quickly became uncomfortable as sweaty bodies pressed against each other. The room was stuffy and the loud music only amplified the small headache pulsing deep in her temples. 

With how loud the music boomed, it was bound to still seep into their dorms. Even with a silencing charm, the vibrations would still find their way to settle in. Continuing to think where she should go to calm down, the portrait hole swung open. With an idea, she walked towards the hole, grabbing one of the pumpkin bowls close to her, and made her way out. 

The corridor was cool and greatly opposed to the loud, tight space compared to the common room. A sense of relief fills her as the crisp air circles her. 

She walked up and down the halls for a while until she wanted something either than stifled air. Quiet, to avoid being caught, Y/N tip-toed her way through the halls until reaching the astronomy tower. The long stairs began to slow her down as a small huff left her as she reached the top. 

But, someone was already there. 

Deciding not to stick around, she turned back to walk down as her hand ever so slightly bangs against the metal railing; the small reverberations managed to alert the person standing. They turned their head. 

“Hello?” A low and raspy voice says. 

“Oh, Remus, is that you?” 

“Yeah, what are you doing here?” 

“Could ask you the same thing.” To this, his eyebrows raise. 

“Needed air.” He responds. 

“Me too.” They awkwardly stand there, looking at each other. 

He didn’t look very happy that she was there. 

“Sorry, I should go. I’ll see you later at the party.” She turns back, a foot already stepping on the stairs. 

“Wait,” he seems to grit out, “You can stay. Seriously, no bother.” 

Remus seemed to be genuine, despite the weird tone of his voice. He didn’t seem like the type to beat around the bush. If he truly wanted her gone, he probably wouldn’t have said anything in return. 

She contemplates her choice for a moment before accepting his invitation. 

Taking long strides, she walks up beside him. The tips of her fingers trailed the railing as she set down her pumpkin bowl. 

The sight was beautiful. The night sky was alluring as the blue haze revealed the twinkling stars. There was hardly a cloud in sight as the moon cast an enchanting opaline white. The sounds of wind travelling were the only noise as a few owls soared high. 

From their angle, if they craned their heads, both would be able to see a small glimpse of the Gryffindor common room. 

Her attention was grabbed once Remus made a sudden movement. He stared outwards, drawing out a box of cigarettes from his pockets along with a black lighter. 

He looked towards her, “Want one?” 

“No thanks.” 

He nods, dangling a cigarette from his lips as he ignites the tip. The warm hue lit up Remus’ face, highlighting the sharpest part of his features before it went out. He pressed the end to his lips and exhaled, looking back to the scenery. The smell of pungent herbs and wispy smoke surrounded them. 

Remus was always someone whose presence always seemed so controlled and analytical, which made him daunting. Whether it be his quiet nature or the way he conducted himself, she was drawn to him. 

The silence was peaceful. Although, their friendship had yet to be explored outside of their study group, so conversation starters ran thin. 

He doesn’t look at her, nor does he speak, but remains enamoured with the scenery in front of him. She turned her head away from him, staring back at the sky. 

“You know, I always liked them.” 

“Hmm?” 

“The moon and stars.” 

Remus shifts, his gaze landing back on his shoes. She continues, “It’s quite calming, don’t you think?”

Although his face seemed relaxed, his body was stiff and made Y/N rethink her decision to join him. Remus doesn’t respond for some time, focusing more on his cigarette than her. “Why do you think that?” 

His sentence came out significantly quieter than the rest of his speech. Remus’ face retained a calm expression, but up close, she could see it was the product of trained practice overtime rather than genuine interest. A thick tension raised and she didn’t know if she should continue talking. 

“There are millions of people in the world, so one is bound to be looking at the moon at the same time. It’s like I’m not alone, that someone is there on the other side.” 

He takes a deep breath, letting it out again, “Yeah, I wish.”

Before Y/N has the chance to ask what he meant, she’s cut off too quickly as he spoke again. 

“The prank went well. Thanks by the way.” 

“Oh no! You did all the work. It was very impressive. Must’ve taken hours to create.” 

He blushes, his hand rubs the nape of his neck. “It wasn’t just me but—”

“Take the compliment.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Erm… How was the test?” Remus asks, “You never did tell me how you did.” 

“Great. A lot better, thanks. How were the notes?” 

“Binns? Fantastic. I actually understand what’s going on now.” 

He flicks off the ash from the tip of his cigarette, flicking it off the railing. By now, it became too short to hold properly. He drops it to the floor, his foot-stomping it out before picking it back up and tossing the bud into the trash can by the entrance. 

Y/N wasn’t quite sure what Remus was supposed to be. He wore a long beige trench coat with a white dress shirt with black pants and shoes. 

Her legs were already becoming restless. She decides to lower herself on the ground, her legs dangling off the tower as her body is behind the bars. She reaches into her pumpkin bowl, pulling out two boxes of chocolate frogs. 

When Remus returns, he has a blank expression. Silently, he plops himself down, looking back at the sky. 

“You want one?” She hands him the chocolate frog. 

He looks back at her, “Are you sure?” With the nod of her head, he takes it gratefully, mumbling out multiple variations of gratitude. They both take a bite, the crinkling of foil and cardboard fills the air. 

“What are you supposed to be?” She questions.

“Fuck, is it not obvious?” 

“Not really, sorry.” 

“Detective.” 

“Wait—” she cuts him off. She studies his outfit once again, “I can see it now.” 

“Stop lying to make me feel better,” a smile on his face and amusement in his voice. 

“Okay, okay! I thought you took my joke too far and dressed up as a ‘muggle’ professor.” 

Light laughter fills the air. 

The conversation dies shortly after, both content with how they left the conversation. They stayed there for a while, taking in the scene before both head back to the party. They must’ve stayed on the tower longer than anticipated because the common room was close to empty. 

Mary was gone, along with Alice and the tall prefect boy. Marlene and Dorcas shared a sofa; Marlene’s left arm draped across Dorcas’ shoulder. Peter and Lily were fixated on the chessboard in front of them. 

Most of James’ face paint smeared off his face, his glasses were smudged with a dash of white as he helped Sirius, along with other sixth and seventh years to clean up the mess left. 

The loud tune of _ABBA_ played on the record player in the corner. She drifted towards the sound while Remus shouted at her to switch it.

Flicking through the records, she came across a beat-up _David Bowie_ album. She grabbed it, sliding out the ABBA record and replacing it; setting the needle down as everyone in the common room bopped their heads. The sound of _Starman_ flowed around. 

_‘Didn't know what time it was,_

_The lights were low_

_I leaned back on my radio’_

“See!” Remus exclaims, looking at everyone, “Why would anyone listen to fucking ABBA when Bowie exists?!” 

Everyone snorts at his outburst. 

“ABBA _is_ good!” Sirius taunts. James walks up to Remus and begins to shout out lyrics from the top of his head. He yells just loud enough to cover the music from the player. 

_“Honey honey, how you thrill me, a-ha, honey honey!”_

“JAMES! Shut up!” 

_“Honey honey, nearly kill me, a-ha, honey honey!”_ Sirius joins in. 

“Shuddup Padfoot!” 

Remus has his hands placed over his ears protectively. To his dismay, Peter starts to sing. All the marauders trap Remus in a circle. Their arms are stretched, holding on to each other to keep him in the middle while they chant lyrics. 

_“I’d heard about you before!”_

Dorcas and Marlene jump in as Lily laughs at Remus’s dismay. 

_“I wanted to know some more!”_

“— You guys!” 

_“And now I know what they mean, you’re a love machineee! Oh, you make me dizzy!”_

James then grabs onto Remus’ arms, trying to get him to dance with him. He attempts to twirl Remus into a passionate dip, but Remus’ feet are glued in place and he’s far too heavy for James to move him. He opts to continue dancing and singing, swaying Remus’ hands in his. Even the random students were enjoying the scene, casually singing along. 

_“Honey honey, let me feel it, a-ha, honey honey!”_

To this, Marlene and Dorcas get up and start dancing as well before Lily makes her way over to Y/N. 

_“Honey honey, don't conceal it, a-ha, honey honey!_

_The way that you kiss good night!_

_The way that you hold me tight!_

_I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing!”_

_“— There's a starman waiting in the sky!”_ Remus cuts in, trying to mask everyone’s singing in retaliation. 

“No!” Sirius bellows, “Sing ABBA louder guys! **_I DON’T WANNA HURT YOU BABY, I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU CRYYY!”_ **

_“He’d like to come and meet us!”_

Their horrid off-tune singing makes everyone crack up. The marauders are desperately trying to drown each other out while flailing their arms around, dancing terribly. 

On the other hand, Y/N’s eyes had a faraway look. In a way, she’s jealous of them. It’s natural to feel alienated after moving somewhere completely new, but watching everyone laugh and their small interactions only pry open her stitched wounds again.

They reminded her so much of her friendship with Matthew and her younger brother.

She missed them. 

Despite being surrounded by so many people, she never felt lonelier.

The bitterness and sadness were becoming unhealthy and she had to swallow the truth. _She really needed to stop feeling sorry for herself._

She decided to transfer schools, and she decided to leave. It was all her choice. But she wasn’t prepared for the unforgiving feeling of being a forgotten memory. It crushed the very workings of her soul to know that all of her past histories would remain just that: forgotten. And now that she’s made new connections, would they crumble too knowing they only had a few years left of school?

A reminder pops in her head, almost like a timer; her self-worth is not linked to other people.

“You okay?” A worried Lily pulls her from her thoughts. 

“Perfect.” 

_‘There's a starman waiting in the sky_

_He's told us not to blow it_

_**Cause he knows it's all worthwhile**.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this chapter: David Bowie's Starman and ABBA’s Honey, Honey


End file.
